Hello, I'm 29 and have been a stepmother since I was 20 to a boy and a girl.  My stepson is 14 and over the last year or so has changed dramatically.  It has not been an easy journey and over time I want to dicuss and share stories with others who understand.  The issue I'm going to bring up today is CLOTHING.

I truly don't know it's a teenager thing or autism thing at this point. DH and I both are exhausted from interactions with SS. 

If you talk nicely to him he would think you're in a play mode and nothing you said matters. If you yell at him you will get his attention and get stuff done but then he'll act like a victim. Neither DH nor I like to yell. I don't really yell but I sure am not the nicest person when talking to SS. 

Once in a while out of boredom and my curiosity I cyber-stalk BM just to see why we haven't heard from her. (Nothing hard-core necessary because she's not very techie)

On her bio at her work she had the audacity to say she lives with her TWO kids, SS (who lives with us 100% now) and her daughghter and her husband. 

This is the mom who hasn't talked to or seen her own son for a year, but you go girl, right? *bad*

Haven't been back for a while. Had enough over the summer so DH and I are on the same page that 2 hours a day checking someone's homework is just not good use of our time. We decided SS needs to be the one to care about his own grades, and we can help when he has questions, but HE will be the one to check his own homework.

Recap- SS is High functioning autistic. 

Has been much better than before so far now that we have time for ourselves not fighting with SS over his hw. 

I tried not to complain too much, and kept my mouth shut since summer break started and let DH deal with SS13 most of the time. I can't help today because my eyes are rolling so hard. I feel evil and wicked but again since I didn't make any snarly comments at home..I think I'm entitled to roll my eyes and complain a bit here.

I know it's petty, I'm just not a big fan of putting together a party for SS13, even if it's only virtual. To be honest, I'm not a big fan of celebrating birthdays at all, my own included. To me "being born" is not really an achievement of the baby but the mom's (but no, I'm not celebrating for BM in this case)...that's off topic anyway. I do it for others but I skip my own when I can. (DH is big on celebrating these thing so I don't always get to do that on my own..Not a complain, it's sure a sweet gesture from DH)

Haven't been back for about two weeks. Some updates to my last post: ESY is in SS' IEP, and we should have it happen this year too. The teacher said this year the school district is really tightening up the standard and she didn't think my SS is at risk regressing. (Untrue. He can forget how to add/subtract if not practicing daily--- and once we told the teacher this actually happened, he was put back to ESY again.)

This week I learned from SS that the special ed kids at school get to do a "prepare exam" that carry some exact questions as the "real exam." Given my SS is never the best person to communicate, I'm hoping this is untrue. I lose count on how many days we have to argue with him that -10 and 10 are not the same, and "I just forgot the negative sign" won't make it right. 

Today we got the teacher's email saying SS is not eligible to extended school year (summer class) and that he is ready to be in mainstream math and English classes.

This week we had relatively stress-less homework sessions..although it was only half way through the week, it was better than fighting all the small and silly issues.

I have heard over an over lately that "accepting the reality" regarding who my SS12 is and his condition will make my life easier. I have a hard time understanding this concept of "accepting."