Something hit me about my SF. His mother was in her forties when she had him & she was diagnosed with manic depression back then. It's now known as bipolar disorder. She had mental problems all her life & was even committed & he didn't have much of a relationship with her. For him, she was just this person he was connected to, but she was distant. Not a mom, just a relative he didn't know that well. Now he's in my family with three generations of women who are very close & he just doesn't get it.

Peachy. My mother & I planned on going to the Renaissance Festival tomorrow, just me & her since my step dad has to work. Well, he doesn't want to miss out so he's doing everything he can to go. Now I'm not irritated by this because I want my mother all to myself. I'm irritated because he usually makes me feel like he doesn't want me around. That's what I want, to go to Ren Fest & be treated like a piece of crap... NOT! (Thank God they serve alcohol) He'd better be in a good mood tomorrow, because if he's not & he wants to be a jerk it'll be on like Donkey Kong!

To be honest with you, there are more reasons I'm considering dating someone who already has kids. I don't have any by now, & I don't know if I want to get pregnant anymore. I'll be 32 in 2 weeks, & I'm concerned about the health of any children I have & my health as well. I don't regret waiting to have kids, because I know I wasn't mature enough. I had a lot of baggage I had to deal with & things I had to clean up. Now I believe & feel that I am emotionally mature enough to handle kids, but I don't know if my body will be able to recover from it well.

... and that's another drama. When I was 12, my mother told me that my SF wanted to adopt me. She said it was his idea. 10 years later there I was paying to have my name changed because I couldn't afford the adoption fees. He could afford buying tractors, stereo systems, & whatever other equipment he really wanted. But he couldn't afford to adopt me?