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I gotta go

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I never deleted my account from my mother's computer, but it was password protected. Well, her computer crashed & for some reason she needed my password. So it's possible that she might come here to snoop, so to avoid trouble - because if I find out she's been snooping around my accounts she & I are going to have a major blowout - I'm having my account & blogs deleted.

I appreciate all the insight & support I've gotten here & I hope the best for everyone.


This is why I need tequila

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This weekend was interesting. First of all, my mother dyed her hair darker... like mine. Then she bought sunglasses... like mine. Since I've moved back I've noticed that she's beginning to dress like me. God help me. I already look just like her... just darker & younger. Now she wants to be twins. This is why I need tequila. Then I told her I wanted to open a second checking account. She told me that the bank didn't allow that. On what planet?! On hers, where if I don't ask for her opinion, advice or approval, she tries to discourage me from it. This is why I need tequila.

I feel terrible

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Part of my job requires drafting, which is done on the computer. Yesterday it took me about 5 hours to incorporate about 7 drawings all into one. The problem was that the drawing I was creating had to be to scale, & once I got all the drawings together something was wrong. Things were not lining up right & it was just becoming a huge mess. So this morning I had to scrap all that work & re-do it in 3 hours, then make modifications... all of which had to be done before lunch. Stress anyone?

A woman's poem

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He didn't like the casserole
And he didn't like my cake.
He said my biscuits were too hard...
Not like his mother used to make.
I didn't perk the coffee right
He didn't like the stew,
I didn't mend his socks
The way his mother used to do.
I pondered for an answer
I was looking for a clue.
Then I turned around and smacked the shit out of him...

Like his mother used to do.


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I had this weird dream that made me remember something my step dad did a long time ago. I'm trying to let it go, but maybe I should just let it out first, so here it goes.

Joyous New Year

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I’ve had some challenges the past few months that upset me, but what surprised me most was my ability to rebound from them. No matter how down & depressed I feel, I can still find humor in the world & myself. I can still poke fun at my challenges, which makes them seem less… well… challenging. And the reason I noticed this is because when I was feeling my lowest I was still able to laugh at silly things. I was able to feel joy, even in the midst of my sadness.

Keeping things in perspective

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First of all, I'm not diminishing the impact of this weekend. I was in foster care as a child & just found out. I can now recognize when my mother is doing unhealthy things & I have to learn how to deal with it without it controlling my life. But I found out some news last night that really puts things in perspective.