flintstonegarden's Blog

The right to choose

My oldest is almost 12yrs old and in the eyes of the court has the right to say which parent he chooses to live with. I haven't offered him this option and am considering it. I'm worried that if I let him choose that I'll somehow be seen as abandoning him or kicking him out.

Bedtime phone calls?

Tonight I thought I'd be nice and let all the kids stay up an extra 1/2hr after bedtime.... the youngest step kid at the time it was time to go to be wanted to phone his mom so trying to be nice I let him.... bring on the tears of a 4yr old! Every time he see her when with us he starts acting out and now when he phone her he gets all upset and starts crying. He never use to even want to call her and hated when we had to return him to her. Is it appropriate for us to say no to him phoning her on the basis that he gets upset every time now? Am I doing something wrong as a step parent?

Oh Wow, attitude and defiance.

The SK go back to BM's today. The two oldest were up before my BK to say goodbye to their dad before he left for work and do a few chores. Choosing chores resulted in the SK's physically getting into a fist fight. The oldest punched the younger one in the stomach. SO dealt with it with making them apologize and give hugs but the act of defiance and attitude towards their dad was unbelievable. The worst I have ever seen. The older one is suppose to go ocean fishing with his grandparents the next time here. If it was my kid he wouldn't be going with that attitude!!!!!

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Control Freak!!!!!

OMG now we cant even take the kids to see the family doctor without BM being present. Oldest SK has a sore throat and feels like his chest is tight so being a paramedic I listened to his chest and there is a wheeze present. Phoned my mother in law to get her to take him to the walk-in for me instead of me having to take all 6 kids with. While waiting for grandma to show up the oldest SK phones BM and she in turn give SO shit.... What the hell?

I dont agree with SO

so as posted yesterday the SK are crying boo hoo, they don't like that we have rules etc here and want to go back to BM. to change this attitude behaviour SO sent SK to his parents for a few days. What this will accomplish has yet to be seen but I look at it as rewarding them. GP are not the most strict and are pretty relaxed about bedtimes etc..... Mean while mine are here at home following/respecting the rules, doing their chores, and even doing their assigned 1hr daily summer school work that I set up for them without complaining or me having to nag them.

I dont want to be a step parent.

It is so hard being a step parent and a biological parent. My BK live with us full time. Therefore the have rules, chores, set bedtimes, and certain expectations. Today I fine out that the SK who have told us for nearly a year that they want to be with us and not their mom told their dad this morning that they don't want to be here anymore. They don't like our rules, they don't like having to help with chores and they especially don't like having a set bed time. Apparently they no longer have any of these at BM home. I give and give and give. There is little thanks, little appreciation.

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Apparently the 4yr old plays Call-of-Duty :-S

Sk came today and the oldest asked if we'd make it a rule that the 4yr old not play with toy guns etc. SO inquired as to why and apparently the little guy while at the play centre at the mall was pretending to shoot the other kids and tell them "You're Dead." (this was while he was with his BM). At the supper table the 4yr old proudly tells us "I play Call-Of-Duty at moms" and his brother pipes up saying "you're not allowed to play it anymore." one of my kids naturally asks "Why" and the older SK tells us again about the mall incident with BM.

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Re SK and phones.

so we went ahead and got the step kids a landline of their own so they can call BM without certain privacy issues becoming a concern that cell phones would cause. today we find out BM bought them a cell phone and she's now telling us their are no restrictions and they can use it whenever and however they wish and we have no right taking it away etc when they are with us. This doesn't sit well with either of us. One: this is our home and we have rules regarding things like cell phones, tablets etc.

SK Phone (?)

Ok in the opinion of others is giving the SK their own phone for calling their mom, grandparents, aunts, and uncles a good thing. I'm talking a land line without a long distance calling plan. I considered getting them their own cell phone but I don't like the idea of them being able to video call their mom and her being able to see what's going on in our home etc. My BK kids have a landline for talking to their BD but he and I get along and he isn't looking for ammunition to use against me.

:-S

As much as I love my Sks I will admit I almost dread knowing they'll be back on Monday. The new 50/50 custody arrangement doesn't come without challenges. I just got the house back in order and my kids back into their normal routines which usually lasts until about day 3 that the SK are here then mine figure they can follow their SS examples of "we don't have to do chores" attitudes etc. I am optimistic this set with the sks will be different with my kids.

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