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Re SK and phones.

flintstonegarden's picture

so we went ahead and got the step kids a landline of their own so they can call BM without certain privacy issues becoming a concern that cell phones would cause. today we find out BM bought them a cell phone and she's now telling us their are no restrictions and they can use it whenever and however they wish and we have no right taking it away etc when they are with us. This doesn't sit well with either of us. One: this is our home and we have rules regarding things like cell phones, tablets etc. Two: the kids now have their own landline to talk to her and they don't need to bring the cellphone here. I am pretty sure the only reason she got them a cell phone is because they told her we were getting them their own phone (trying to one up us) and that the reason it a cell phone is so that she can see what goes on here and possibly even track them through GPS ( she still has this need to be 100% in control). Do we have the right to ask the SK to leave the cell phone at their moms since they already have their own phone here? This is what we would both like to request. The kids downloaded Skype onto their tablets they have here without asking us and were skyping their mom who set up an account under a false name. Because downloading any app is not allow without parent permission and monitoring but was still happening a parent control app was installed on them giving up control (they can no longer download apps without our password, they can only play the apps we've approved, and the apps are locked from them being able to use them except during sets times during the day that we say are acceptable). We strongly believe in internet safety and that parents should be monitoring and know what their kids are doing online and who they are talking too especially since all the kids are under 12yrs of age.


kathc's picture

As long as there's a phone available you do not need to let them have cell phones in your home. If bum won't keep them at her house then you take them and put them on top of the fridge when they arrive, take them down and send them back when they leave. Turn them off while they're in your home.

I've said for a long time, the day a skid cell shows up in my house is the day it gets shut off and put on the fridge until it's time to go home. We've never, ever restricted calls either way so there's no basis to argue that they need it for contact. Fortunately our bm wouldn't spend that kind of money, she's got more important things to buy for herself.

flintstonegarden's picture

thank you. BM is driving us nuts telling us how we will run the house etc when SK are here.

MidwestStepmom's picture

We had the same issue with BM and dh took the phone away from ss. She called the police and they laughed at her, she even tried to say we "stole" it from ss. They told her she could not tell dh how to parent ss when they are with him. As long as the kids have some form of contacting Bm when on your time you are perfectly fine.

We found a topless picture of her on the phone (it was her old phone and she didn't delete the content). Dh told her if she ever tried to sneak another phone with ss, he would call CPS for allow access to this type of content.

flintstonegarden's picture

Thank you. the CO says nothing about cellphones or restricted/unrestricted communication with the SK when at the other parents home.

flintstonegarden's picture

Thank you for all your in put. I really appreciate it and the support on this issue.