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Another Argument About Apps

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

SheSloth was late for guard this morning. Why? Because she left her laptop open as she was listening to music when she fell asleep (her excuse apparently), and open on the screen was Skype, which DH has told her she is not allowed to use! Skype, Kik...these apps that allow her to talk to random people without any kind of trail are not allowed, but SheSloth continues to use them anyway! She uses them so that DH cannot see on the cell bill who she is talking to, and so that she can get around the fact her phone locks down at 10 p.m. (for cell service only...this is done from the provider web site...but doesn't block her ability to attach to wifi). I've been telling DH for some time that at 10 p.m., the router needs to be turned off or SheSloth's devices blocked, because I was certain she was up to all hours talking to people using her then tablet...going around his phone controls (this was before she had a smart phone). He isn't hearing any of that! He refuses to limit the wifi usage.

There is no telling what SheSloth is doing with these apps...Skype, Kik, SnapChat! She has already been known to post somewhat provocative pictures to Instagram, which DH ordered her to take down until she made her Instagram private so that he could no longer see what she posts (or should I say so that I can't see what she posts to bring it up to him...which was the case most of the time). DH never randomly checks SheSloth's phone, so any activity on that he will never know about, and if she is using Skype for video chats...yeah, she could be laying there Skyping at 1 am in bra and panties or less for all we know! She has a history of talking to older guys on the internet, from as young as 13. At 13, she was telling 17-year-old guys she was 15. For all we know, she is now talking to 20-somethings telling them she is 18!!

Seriously, DH needs to quit having these arguments with his precious princess, and start taking actions! Take the devices away! Put limits on the wifi! There ARE things he can do to avoid this crap, and he knows it! He is in IT...he used to do security for the school district in the city, so he knows how to lock things down to prevent kids from going to places on the internet or using apps that they are supposed to be using! "But I want her to think I trust her!" UGH! THAT WILL NOT WORK! Now, fearing consequences if they get caught, that has much more effect! Like my bios used to tell other kids that would try to get them to do something they shouldn't, "...because WHEN my mom finds out..." Yeah, they knew it was only a matter of time that I would find out, and their butt would be mine! They still didn't always make perfect choices 100% of the time, but knowing that I would not hesitate to punish them made them seriously consider whether or not doing certain things was really worth it! SheSloth has never really been punished...there is no fear...so she just does what she wants anyway. Ooooo...she might have to sit through another lecture from dear dad...big deal!

Rags's picture

Devices, driveway, car tire.... end of problem.

Or ... just turn off the router as soon as she walks in the door.

Simple.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

Problem is, I get stuck listening to the yelling when these arguments occur. They always tend to happen when I'm trying to sleep, or when DH and I have just decided to sit and watch something together...he gets some wild idea to go tell SheSloth to get in the shower or something before we sit start the movie or show. Then he disappears for the next hour, as I can hear the yelling right through the house. Can't even go ahead and watch what we were going to watch, because the yelling. The arguments end up getting in the way of MY life! I have told him multiple times...quit arguing with her! Put his foot down, assert his authority! No means NO! No doesn't mean negotiate. No doesn't mean argue your case! No means NO! He gives her all the power if he allows her to try to negotiate or argue her case!

If I turn off the wifi, DH will simply go turn it back on after I fall asleep, because he wants to mess around on his tablet or something. Would not take SheSloth long to figure it out, and wait until 11 pm or midnight to get back on her devices.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

Would be a great idea, but a few of us are dealing with dads how bow to their princesses. Once SheSloth griped enough, he would give her the password. I would give it 2-3 days...tops. Just like TGIHB...she turns off the internet, the piglet whines, dear daddy turns it back on. He is the one that allows the use of all these devices, and then I have to hear the yelling, the griping, and the complaining whenever it bites him in the ass! When SheSloth came home with that smartphone a friend gave her...he didn't have to put it on the wifi...he didn't even have to allow her to use it! He KNOWS the crap she does (i.e., boob-selfies, pics in just her sports bra and shorts or pj pants, cussing like a sailor, etc), but yet he says, "Oh, how nice of your friend! Let's get this all set up for you!" and spent hours that night getting it all set up. Same with the laptop...he KNOWS she will not use it for anything productive...like let's say homework...but will use it for Skyping, etc. But he hands it right over to her..."Here, honey...look what I rescued at work today for you!" He spent a full day getting that thing set up for her!

What really upsets me is that BS19's truck is still sitting there waiting for DH to finish fixing it like he promised! And yes, DH is equally responsible to my bios...that is what happens you you adopt kids! You tell them, "I'm going to love you and treat you as my own!" All I keep hearing are excuses!

Jsmom's picture

Take the router to bed with you. BM promised DH last week he would shut down SD data plan. She is posting a lot of stuff on Twitter about drugs. BM said she would. Has she? No because that would be parenting.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

Router is in our room anyway. But DH will never agree to shut it down, and if I do, he will simply turn it back on, because he is up until like 1 am every day playing on his tablet.

Easylikesundaymornin's picture

Just change the password for the router ~ change it to idontknow ~ if she asks what the new password is ~ tell her I don't know.

Aniki's picture

Other passwords...

ilostit
idontrecall
youcanthaveit
somethingeasy

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

LOL...reminds me of one time when BD23 got in trouble. I changed her computer password so she couldn't get on it (you know, back when it was desktop systems instead of tablets, laptops, and phones). When it finally came time to give her back her access, she asked me what the password was. I told her, "youarebusted"! Yeah, I got a "geez...really funny, mom" out of that one.

Ughugh's picture

Yep. My version of SheSloth is doing the exact same things. Irresponsible to no end with usage and ethics. Her Barf non-Mother gave her the latest iPhone (like a moron living in a trailer behaving like trash, with shorts up her butt needs the latest anything, there is ENDLESS DRAMA. Her little sister is now starting to act like her as well.

No wonder I go out of the house every chance I get the days they are here...

I also tried to suggest limits to DH, but it fell on deaf ears, so...Meh, not my trash, not my problem.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

As I've mentioned before, I think the thing that concerns me the most is what information SheSloth is giving to who. Is she talking to someone online that she thinks is a 17-year-old or a few years older guy with a car...giving out our address information so he can come pick her up in the middle of the night...when really it is some 40 year old sicko? What kind of danger does that put me in? Say he cases the house to see when SheSloth may come home from school thinking she will be home alone...oh wait, look, there is a woman home alone in the house all day! Yes, may be going overboard, but in this day and age, you need to consider these things! Out here in the sticks, no one will see anything or hear my screams if I get attacked going to the mail box or taking the dogs out!

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

Oh hell no! DH drives her...doesn't even ask! He drives her to school every single morning, and she calls her friend (who goes to a different high school) to come pick her up every day because she is just too good for the bus! So they were both late this morning because of the argument! Oh, and the girl still is not waking herself up like she is supposed to. All these excuses about she can't hear the alarm on her new phone, she did hear it and laid back down, etc. I don't get her up any more. I kick DH out of bed and tell him to! Told him a few days ago I think he needs to sit down with SheSloth in the evening, set an alarm on her phone (for like 7:30 p.m. or something) and sit there with her and see if it goes off and what it sounds like, because I call BS on her excuses.

Oh, and Saturday, he is letting SheSloth go to the homecoming dance at the friend's high school. Yeah, I don't get that one!

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

The reason I wake DH up is for my own sanity/health. I can wake up at the mere vibration of my FitBit...I'm quite the light sleeper. DH needs his alarm set to some crazy loud volume with some totally obnoxious techno or industrial sound to even start to get him out of his slumber he sleeps so hard. So, as you can see, I will wake up either way. Waking up my way, I wake up gently. If DH sets an alarm, I'm jolted up, heart racing...literally...instant fight or flight mode. I know that is NOT a good way to start my day! But I surely don't have to go walking through the house to tell her highness to get out of bed! Nope...not doing it! When I used to do it, she would ignore me and go back to sleep...so it's all on him now! Let him get annoyed with having to go tell her 2-3 times every morning to get up!

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

LOL...I tell DH all the time if the house falls, I would wake up at the first crackling. I would later tell the rescuers to follow the snoring to find him!

step off already's picture

Welcome to the club. I just took away DD13's ipad this morning as I found inappropriateness on her Kik account - which she shouldn't have anyway.

Oh well. She's not mature enough to follow the safety rules so I get a new ipad.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

Wish DH had the balls to do that! When he found Kik on her iPod 2 years ago, and saw the conversation with the guy where she lied about her age, what did he do? Gave her a lecture, handed her back the iPod, and told her to delete the app! I looked at him like he was crazy! Did he seriously think the app was going to get deleted and she wasn't going to talk to the guy any more? A few months later, he had to get the screen fixed on the iPod, and there was the Kik app! Again, another lecture and told her to delete it!