Quick recap of my situation - I have 2 skids, SD11 and SS9, both of whom do not do what they are told (either because they "forgot" or it's not fun and they don't want to), both lie constantly, SS steals, neither of them have any respect for anyone and think they should get to do whatever they want all the time. Almost everything in our house is a battle with these 2 kids and after SD told me for the umpteeth time that she hates me and wishes I weren't around, I found this forum and learned about disengaging and have been semi successfully doing it for a few weeks now.
Just a quick vent...
So my SD11 is grounded for refusing to do her chores pretty much every day. Her favorite excuse is "I forgot" even though it is something she is told to do every day.
Last night I officially lost it and told my DH he needs to be home to take care of his children because I can't do it anymore. I shouldn't be angry every day because of them but I am, and I need a serious break from it all before I lose my mind.
My SD11 started her period this morning. We knew it was coming for various reasons, but it officially happened this morning before school.
School hasn't even been in for a month yet and SS9 has already gotten marked down on his behavior reports, taken school supplies from class, and been in the principal's office for fighting.
I've been working on disengaging now for a couple weeks. Quick recap for those who haven't read or followed previous posts, my SD11 and SS9 have not taken well to me being in their lives. It's been over 6 years now and it hasn't gotten any easier. I tried being engaged for a long time as their BM is not around, but after constant rejection to the point where I am openly told by my SD that she wishes I wasn't around and leaves notes around about hating me and wanting me to die, and both of them being disrespectful on a regular basis, I decided to disengage.
I've been reading so many of the different blogs and forum posts on here, and some of you amaze me (in a good way). The idea of "don't do anything for the skids" sounds great but so unrealistic for me.
My H and I have been going at this as "a team" for over 6 years now. SKids' BM is not around at all, and my BD13's dad wasn't around much until this last year as he lived in a different state. I've been mom to everyone, met with nothing but resistance from skids, but that's just their nature, they don't treat their father much better.
I'm not sure what is out there in the universe this week working against me, but it's been one of those weeks... There's been the excessive issues with the SD11, continued issues with SS9, and last night when I tried having a conversation with H about SKids and some issues between him and I, I turned into the bad guy all around and have no idea where things stand between us at the moment.
So a couple days ago, SD11 came downstairs as we were getting ready to play some UNO, and I look up and her face has this pinkish tinge to it. I ask her what happened to her face. She says she doesn't know. I said there is no way your face looks like that and you don't know what happened. So she then says when she was pooping that she grabbed her face because she was trying to remember something that her and BD13 were talking about. I told her that made absolutely no sense and that her story doesn't add up with the way her face looks. She just kept saying that was what happened.
This is my first time. I found myself Googling "my step daughter and I do not like each other" late last night and came across this site. Started reading a few entries and decided to sign up.
I don't really know what all the abbreviations mean yet, I'm sure it'll come with time so I will be using the long versions and testing the others haha