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SS Fighting at School - He's 9

ashes54's picture

School hasn't even been in for a month yet and SS9 has already gotten marked down on his behavior reports, taken school supplies from class, and been in the principal's office for fighting.

This is the one issue that is really getting to me. He gets into a fist fight with 2 other boys and a GIRL. His story is that he walked up to these kids to see what they were doing, and one of the boys started chasing him away. So he walks back up to them and again is chased away. So he goes back to them a third time and this time one of the boys throws him on the ground, so he grabs the kid's leg and pulls him down and he gets up. Then the other boy says it's his turn to fight so him and the girl start punching and kicking him. At which point teachers intervene. He says he didn't do anything but ask what they were doing and in turn these kids jump him? Now, to me, this sounds bizarre. I asked him who these kids were, and he said classmates. So I ask if they are even friends of his, and he says no. So now I'm curious why he would walk up to a group of kids he isn't even friends with to see what they're doing, is chased off twice, and then ultimately a fight breaks out. Clearly there's more to this story. 

On top of ALL of this, he never even said one word about it. It wasn't until the end of the week when I heard a voicemail from his principal about it that we found out. According to the principal, no one would say anything about what happened. If this were me, and I was jumped by 3 kids for absolutely no reason, I would have immediately called my parents when I got home, probably sobbing too LoL. 

All 4 of these kids were involved, and we told SS that in no way is what happened ok on anyone's part, but we're not getting the full story. Which is nothing new mind you. SS never tells the truth which is why that makes believing this story that he's innocent in all of this that much harder to do.

DH handled most of this situation. I was just asking questions trying to get some more understanding. I mean initially when you hear a kid was attacked by 3 other kids, that seems like it may need some deeper explanation. But DH definitely led the conversation, he talked to the principal, and he decided SS should write apology letters to everyone (the 3 kids and his principal). Odd tho, in his apology to the principal he apologized for being mean to the 3 kids, and for being mean to other kids that had picked on him. And in the apology to 2 of the kids, he apologized for what he said to them. But of course, we weren't told what he said to them other than asking what they were doing. Sounds like a strange thing to be sorry for saying... 

At the end of the year last year, SS had started showing signs of aggression and would antagonize other kids on the way home and occasionally it would result in shoving (his sister told on him about that). His dad had a talk with him about fighting and how if he were to find out he was starting fights he would be in a world of trouble. So I think he went up to these kids at school, kids he says aren't his friends, and was causing a problem and had his ass handed to him, which is also why he didn't tell us about it. 

I have zero experience with raising boys. I grew up with a step sister, no brothers. And although there was fights are school, none of my friends were ever involved in them. It was usually the "bad kids" that fought. So I'm not sure if this is simply a "boys will be boys" thing and we shouldn't be so worried about it. I think the fact we can't believe a word he says is partially why it's concerning. He's in 3rd grade, this seems ridiculous.


SteppedOut's picture

So, your husband "talked to him" about his behavior? Any consequences? Are there ever any consequences? If not and he's always just "talked to", I can promise he will just get worse and worse. 

My formerSO's son would regularly get in trouble at school. Regularly. Of course my formerSO used to "talk to him" and would say... oh he knows better now, won't happen again (yea ooook, until next week...rinse repeat) or it would be the other person's fault somehow. SMH. It was a joke. And of course formerSO's mom used to go and occasionally yell at the school employees for "picking on her grandson", you know, those other kids are just jealous of him. *pukes*