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Since when does being sick get you out of being in trouble?

ashes54's picture

Just a quick vent...

So my SD11 is grounded for refusing to do her chores pretty much every day. Her favorite excuse is "I forgot" even though it is something she is told to do every day.

Last night I officially lost it and told my DH he needs to be home to take care of his children because I can't do it anymore. I shouldn't be angry every day because of them but I am, and I need a serious break from it all before I lose my mind.

Anyway, today she gets sent home from school for throwing up, but she's seemed fine all day since she's been home. She called and asked her dad if she could watch tv (because he must have told her not to bother me at all today), and he said yes. I'm mad. I understand she is sick but why does that mean she should get to watch tv if she's still grounded? Since when does being sick get you out of trouble? That definitely wasn't how it was when I was a kid. If I got sent home from school or stayed home sick from school, I stayed in bed. And I didn't even have to be in trouble for that to be the case. If I was too sick to be at school, then I should be in bed resting, period.


tog redux's picture

I could watch TV if I was sick, but back in the day "grounding" meant I couldn't leave the house other than with my parents or to school, and they wouldn't have lifted THAT just because I was sick.

Just typical permissive, inconsistent parenting.

ashes54's picture

In our house, grounded includes no tv along with not going anywhere other than to school.

But yes, inconsistent parenting... or perhaps he forgot... it must run in the family LoL

It's just frustrating for me when she literally just got grounded yesterday and today she's home watching tv and seems completely fine. I'd much rather come here and vent than try to "correct" anything.

NotThatTypical's picture

Did dad even remember she is grounded? Sounds like you grounded her (not dad) and then said "I'm done". Dad is now in charge, not his punishment, not his responsability to follow through. Not a good message in the long run but if dad does step up he'll have to figure out what he's going to do about her not complying with rules.

ashes54's picture

I'm not sure if he forgot or just decided that since she's sick he'd let her watch tv or yes maybe even decided to change things all around since I no longer want to have any responsibility when it comes to his kids and it's easier for him to let them do as they please. As much as I wanted to tell her to turn it off, I said absolutely nothing, not my place. That alone was a big step for me. 

somethingwicked's picture

So what's going on at school that skid had to gag herself and vomit to get out of?

A test? Oral report that she was not prepared ?

Her father should find out from the school nurse and whatever class skid supposedly  blew her cookies in ,talk to the  teacher and find out what happened . Was it the deep fried grease served up in the cafeteria skid had  seconds for lunch?Or was this a phantom emesis episode? Maybe skid made it up to cut  class and get home early to chill .

I had a skid that could lie straight faced while holding a bible.

It all goes back to your wussy pussy of a DH who fails to be a parent. If he doesn't do some parenting and investigating regarding this episode it will repeat coz skid discovered how easy it is to get over on authority figures. Stay AND congrats on staying disengaged,btw...sometimes it ain't easy..

Rememeber:Not YOUR Monkey.. have that made into a sign and put it up in the "family "room.



ashes54's picture

I don't really think she was faking being sick to get out of anything at school (I could be wrong though) but she's clearly not that ill as she has been up and about without any further vomiting to speak of and overall seems quite cheery. 

Although, her and her brother both are professional liars. Both will look you dead in the face and swear they aren't lying and take it to the grave if they feel it necessary, even if they've been caught red handed. It's disturbing.

Curious Georgetta's picture

You and your husband to define what grounding means to each  of you.

Obviously, grounding can mean many different things to different people.

Grounding in my home as we were growing up meant that you were confined to the house and could not participate in outside activities.

There were no restrictions on tv or activities with in the home. Clearly your childhood experience was different, and your husband's experience may have been different than what either of us experienced .

If you want to speak the same language then you have to mutually define the vocabulary.

ashes54's picture

We've been married for 4 years, together for 7 - we've pretty much always been on the same page as far as parenting goes including discipline. We have a blended family, 1 mine, 2 his, 1 ours, and we've always tried to make sure everyone is treated fairly and equally and expected to follow the same rules. It's only since I've taken a step back (or maybe 3 steps back) and voiced my frustrations that things seem to be changing in that department.