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Potentially just a vent, annoyed over scheduling

new.to.this's picture

Having a tough time with the fact that BM schedules activities on our scheduled time with the SKs. The daddy daughter dance is this weekend and she basically just send FDH an email that said she bought tickets, this is the time etc. No notice or question of if we perhaps had plans already booked. I find this soo annoying and presumptive. She has also now emailed FDH a reminder email saying to buy YSD a flower for her dress. He’s been doing this for YEARS she doesn’t need to be sending him these reminders.

BM in need of total control

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FDH is very interested in getting YFSD some extra curricular help with school; he is willing to pay for the whole thing (not asking BM for any contribution) and is willing to do the transportation (falls mainly on our scheduled days but 2x per month would be for an hour on BMs time...FDH would pick up FYSD and drop her back off after the plans)

BM is saying: she doesn't need the extra help, FDH needs to back off and unless she knows ALL THE DETAILS she will not allow FYSD to participate.

a bit OT - Anyone know their myers-briggs type? how does it affect you as a parent/SP?

new.to.this's picture

i am very interested in Myers-Briggs and personality types and believe they play a large role in human interaction. i fall on the introvert spectrum (INFJ) and very much am realizing that i:

1. need time alone to decompress, this has nothing to do with whether i like the people i'm interacting with or not
2. value one on one time vs. group socializing
3. need quiet

i'm curious about others. do you know your type?

ways everyone preps for visits/decompressing

new.to.this's picture

I would love some creative ideas about ways everyone spends "me time." i have been struggling; don't really have any friends (plus being in a stepmom role can feel very isolating), and i pretty much spend my time at work or at home. i love both of those things and am happy at home but definitely need to find some outlets.

OSD has not been over for more than a month and it has been extremely peaceful; i know once she is back i will need some tools and ideas.

thanks!

punishment for teen attitude

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how do you all go about punishing a teen for major attitude and snark? overall a "good" kid, has a job, gets great grades in school, yet has a completely entitled attitude and is rude and disrespectful in the house. (and i obviously would not be doing the punishing, just asking for reference Smile )

she is not super social, so grounding her is not really an option, and taking a phone away just means she sleeps or goes to her room. nothing seems to phase her.

Childless SMoms

new.to.this's picture

I saw this comment on another thread and it hit home, and would love to hear other people's perspectives and how they deal with it:

"I may get flamed for this but it is hard to be a childless woman who has one person - their spouse - as their number one priority while that person has an entire roster of people to balance and we may - or may not - be number one with them when we really need to be. And I am not talking about just a whiny "I don't feel important" need to be but even in actual emergencies they still can't manage to focus just on us."

ways your DH supports you or makes you happy

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so much of the conversation on here can be about the SKIDS/tough times in life, and thankfully this is a healthy place to be able to vent, but I would love to hear stories about how everyone manages as a "couple." a lot of SMs say they probably wouldn't do it all over again if they had known what they were truly getting in to...are there some here who would say because of DH they would do it again?

figuring this out

new.to.this's picture

have a BF who has older teenage daughter and younger elementary aged daughter (1st from wife #1, 2nd is from wife #2), i have no bios and he is not able to have any more.

youngest SD is sweet, wants me involved and around. usually prefers me to DD; i can tell she struggles with feeling loyalty pulls to her BM and i understand it.