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ways everyone preps for visits/decompressing

new.to.this's picture

I would love some creative ideas about ways everyone spends "me time." i have been struggling; don't really have any friends (plus being in a stepmom role can feel very isolating), and i pretty much spend my time at work or at home. i love both of those things and am happy at home but definitely need to find some outlets.

OSD has not been over for more than a month and it has been extremely peaceful; i know once she is back i will need some tools and ideas.

thanks!

Comments

sunshinex's picture

I love going out to the mall alone, or like gimlet mentioned, going to bookstores. I can spend hours in an indigo or chapters because they usually have starbucks too Smile I'll grab myself a good drink and walk around checking out all the books. Than when I do get home, I can at least take a nice long bath and read my book.

It's really important to me in ANY relationship, especially one where my husband has a child and I don't, that I have activities/support outside of him. I spend time with my friends, I'll go out once in a while for drinks with the girls, and eventually, I'd like to plan a girls weekend where we get a hotel and stay away for a couple days.

I love my husband but I'm the type of person who thrives on alone time. I'm fairly introverted so that's probably why. He knows this about me so he doesn't care if I want alone time for a few hours, or even a couple of days.

new.to.this's picture

i'm an introvert too and definitely need breaks from the noise and commotion for sure. Biggrin

Tuff Noogies's picture

i never really had the opportunity to prep for a visit, i'd pull in the drive after work, open the door, and *bam* they were already there.

but when i was single i used to unwind by browsing fun stores. hobby lobby, pier 1, homegoods, places like that. sometimes i would take a bath with wine, bubbles, candles, and a trashy magazine. i also used to cross-stitch or bury my nose in a book for hours.

i like acra's idea of a DIY project also.

new.to.this's picture

Unfortunately I don't. When I divorced my exH he got all the friends (couples friends and the guys rule the roost in that group) I have never really known any loyal women to be honest; it makes me sad.

I do hang out with family but as fun as that is it would be nice to have a friend who I could talk to/vent to or with etc.

sunshinex's picture

I agree with the gym! That's such an awesome way to decompress and get in a good mindset. Plus it gives you an excuse to leave the house every day hahaha in steplife that can be nice. And nobody can complain because it's a choice you're making for your own health, not to be away from his kids Wink

AJanie's picture

1) Gym or a yoga class
2) Buy a coffee and take a long ride
3) Go get nails done
4) If at home, lock self in room with a glass of wine and a book

2Tired4Drama's picture

Make some wise, old women friends!

Volunteer at a senior citizen center or assisted living/home. Most of them have a high percentage of women residents, many who are mentally fine but might be physically challenged.

They LOVE to have someone who comes to visit and chat - and you would be amazed at the words of wisdom they can provide. They also make great friends because their days of being seriously catty, jealous or disloyal are behind them.

Even though they may have their own children, that doesn't mean they visit. Or may live far away and visit infrequently.

I had a wonderful 108 year old woman I used to visit who told me fantastic stories about what life was like when she was young. I once brought her some slippers and she was SOOO appreciative. Quite a stark comparison to the turned-up nose and dismissiveness I get from SD26 when I give her something. (Which is why I don't bother with much anymore.)

Giving your time and energy to someone who appreciates you is infinitely better than wasting it on those who don't.

Maxwell09's picture

SS leaves on Friday so I spend most of my Friday cleaning my house spotless while he is at school. DH gets home early on Fridays so he picks up SS and they go do something fun until right before it is time for SS to leave for BMs. I spend most of Saturday and Sunday playing with my son and taking him places, enjoying a clean home and watch Netflix series. Sunday afternoon I cook and I call it a night before SS gets back home so I can bathe and relax alone before starting another week. DH is in charge of feeding and putting both kiddos to bed on Sunday nights.

Worried_Worrier's picture

SD and SS are with us full time so I have pretty much zero free time and my BF and I have very little time alone.

Books maybe? Lunches out?

I like turning the radio up loud and singing along and dancing about for 10 minutes or so. Then back to the housework etc!