I'm a BM to a girl (now an adult living on her own) and a new stepmom to two girls 11 & 6. Yes, I'm doing it all over again! I was thinking today, I know for a fact that I was not like the bm of my SDs. I was not in anyway shape or form vindictive, mean, manipulative, abusive, or anything SDs bm has been and continues to be. Not once (well maybe a lot in my head) did I say anything to my daughter about her father or his family! Maybe it was because I was young and hadn't come into my own.

I would just like to leave a comment on the feedback that thinks I'am weird or ewww. My four SC are three boys and one girl. I treat her like a princess and girls/women should be treated like that right? I love them all evenly. I guess time just fly so fast, they are growing up so fast. I just feel like I didn't have enough time with them or her. We didn't (me and my SD) start our relationship (Like father and daughter relationship) in a good way. Their aunt keeps on borrowing them when they moved in with me.

Hi All, it's been a really long time but I really need to vent to those who understand my point of view. So DH and I had SD4 for the past year, and she went to her BM on weekends. I also had her all summer( I was off since I am a teacher) by myself. By the way, I have no kids of my own. Anyway, it was recently told to us by BM that she was taking her back and she was going to school where she lives (an hour a way), ETC. Now I think she just wants money which of course he will give her.

Have you ever been mistaken by someone as your SK’s BP? How did that make you feel?

I know there are a variety of situations here; some where this “mistake” would be an accurate the reflection of the SP-SK relationship, while others might cringe in horror at the mere thought!

My SKs aren’t “bad” kids, nor unattractive ones. I would NOT be "embarrassed" if someone mistook them for my own BKs, but at the same time I do NOT like it when people mistake me to be my SKs’ BM, mainly because that means people assume I have children that old!

When I was little I wanted to grow up and be a teacher who had hair so long it dragged on the ground. I wanted to get married and have two children; one boy and one girl. That was it, specific, to the point and simple.

Well my SKid hates having long hair. he even goes to the point of not washing his hair and refuses to comb it. I have discussed this repeatedly with BM. She thinks it's cute. I think it looks skanky. sorry but dirty ratty uncombed hair just aint cute. so i cut the kids hair (he's begging) we asked her to get it cut so i think she trimmed the side burns and called that good. i asked her agian to get it cut, she wouldnt do it. so i trimmed his hair, not as short as he wanted, but at least less skankified, ya know!

The more I read on this site the better I see my situation. I feel that I am at a crossroads right now which led me to find this site. I know that I want to at least give all options a try before I call my marriage quits so I am going to try disengagement. I have to do something to lessen my stress or I will go crazy. Breaking this to my husband is a whole other story. I am open to all suggestions that could help make this better. I can only do so much since I am stuck with having to take care of the skids. 

This is my plans so far:

so i went and visited my dh yesterday and today, and of course bm tried to keep calling him and saying that sd wants to see him (which im sure is true, but she also wants to see him!) and he was coaching a game and bm wanted to go with sd! i was likeeee uh that will be interesting. She ended up chickening out but let sd go, so i got to see sd after almost 2 months. bm let more info slip about her crappy situation and she knows she couldnt continue to fight dh about him getting more custody.

I have not been posting for a bit, things have been going fairly smoothly, but how I’m to get through the next year, I’m really not sure.

SS13 has decided to move back in with us. Am I happy? No, but whatever I’m an adult I can deal with it.

Let me give a brief (as brief as I can) history. A little over 2 months ago I went to pick up my SD10 as I always do. Well, usually I call her and let her know I am out front. This particular day BM comes out and voices her "concerns". For example, SD10 had a picninc at school and needed a packed lunch (she usually buys). She informed me of this as we were literally walking out of the front door to go to school. She said that she wasn't sure if she really needed it and she was gonna call BM. Well, BM didn't know either and called the school.