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Update on feeling undermined

tryingtobecalm's picture

So I posted ydy about BM being allowed unsupervised time with SS6. How she is supposed to pick him up from school today but now cant bcos she has a funeral to go to. She has got in touch with the inlaws (hubbys mum and dad)to ask them to pick him up and take him to her house later on when she is back from the wake.

Feeling totally undermined!!!!

tryingtobecalm's picture

Havnt been on for a while but felt the need to vent. We have full custody of SS6. He has lived with us for the past year and his mum has only been allowed supervised access bcos of previous abuse. We had a court date last month for a review and it was decided that she can now have one overnight stay every other week. A court order was drawn up to say she picks him up each alternate Friday from school and we pick him up on the Saturday evening. This Friday should be her first one.

Appropriate discipline advice????

tryingtobecalm's picture

So long story short Dh and I have custody of his son 5yrs old. He has had a horrendous childhood with a very abusive mother (see past blogs) but now he is with us full time.
The problem we are having is he is very violent to my son who is 8yrs old. My son so far has not retaliated as I always tell him to walk away and come tell me or DH. The last few times SS has really left some marks on bs8 tho and I'm not sure what to do.
We have tried Reward charts,time out, naugthy step, confiscating toys,tv priveledges, no desert, sent to bed... nothing seems to work!

Just feel like crying!!

tryingtobecalm's picture

Since getting full custody of SS5 my whole world has turned upside down. Its been a never ending cycle of play therapy (because of how badly BM has messed him up), 40 mile round trip every morning to take him to school bcos social services said it was too much change to put him thru changing school and coming to live with us. (They just gave us the ok last wk to put him in the same school my BS goes to) I've had to change my hours at work, the only time I am not with him is when I'm at work!

Cucumber in school lunch? opinions pls

tryingtobecalm's picture

So maybe Im being too touchy but these things really annoy me!! We have been given custody of ss (long story). Vegetables have never been an option in my house and BS is great at eating whatever is put in front of him. SS has never been given a varied diet just 'chips, beans, chips and more beans'. DH is equally to blame as BM in this regard as thats all he had in his cupboards when we met.

At my wits end!!!!

tryingtobecalm's picture

So crazy BM decided it would be a good idea to strangle her 5yr old son to 'protect herself from him as he hit her first'. We have had an exhausting few days in and out of hospital, dealing with police, social services etc.
SS5 has been given to us 'temporarily' pending social services investigation. Police have already said they are not going to prosecute her (yes you heard right!) and it looks as though social services will probably follow suit. (they always have when shes hurt him before).

Struggling with bio dad

tryingtobecalm's picture

I'm a bit unsure of how to proceed. My ex has recently come back into my 7yr olds life after having hardly anything to do with him til last yr. I am a great believer that every child has the right to a relationship with both parents (unless abuse is involved) so I agreed to let him have contact. He has turned up EOW and does pay a very small amount of maintenance.

Another stab in the back from MIL

tryingtobecalm's picture

So crazy BM finally allowed DH to see his son after 4 mnths of denying access. Dh arranged for his parents to pick SS up from BM and he would see him at their house. We had bought a few little prezzies for SS but I told DH that I didnt want SS to take them back to his mums bcos 1, She would probably throw them away and 2, the crazy witch fleeces us every month in CS so I refuse to give her any extras. I suggested to DH that if SS asked to take them home he could say.

How wud u respond

tryingtobecalm's picture

So to cut a very long story short, I have a BS7. I married his dad when I was very young and niave. After a particularly bad beating and finding out he had been cheating on me since before we wer married, I finally saw sense and left. My son was 2 at the time.

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