I have been the custodial SM to two girls for nearly 12 years. This site was a fantastic resource for me early in my marriage. But I saw recently a blog asking about custodial SM's and how the situation is different. I was one of those. I had a BD but had never been married so like many SM's I tried to treat everyone equal. Did for all of them....A wise psychologist told me early in my marriage that I had two choices as a custodial stepmother. To fully engage and "parent" them all or to disengage and have DH do all the parenting for SD's. They were 4 and 8 when we married.

Well, I haven't been on here in a while! First, the site went down, then had some "tween" issues with SD11, then found out after a year and half of trying that I'm pregnant!!

For the new members, DH and I have been married 3 years and I have a BD15, SD11, and SD7 that live with us. We are the custodial household and have had our share of crazy BM stories. For the past year things have calmed down for the most part (about time!) My daughter's father is not involved and we never married so the only "ex" to deal with has been DH's.

Ok, not really step related but I need some serious help. My DH is turning 40 next week. He's working that day and that evening, usually doesn't work evenings but his restaurant hosts a religious youth group meeting on Tuesday evenings in the summer. So I feel bad and want to do something for him. His restaurant isn't doing great (what is in this economy!), he's having a milestone birthday, and his kids are with BM that week...Poor DH!

I hate that word. Regress. And it's just what I did last night. I'd just gotten to that "happy" place, married to DH for 2 1/2 years, custodial SM to SD11 and SD6 and BM to BD14. Things this year have been great. BM became less obsessed with DH, met and married a guy 10 years her junior last month. Finally all of our boundaries were in place and seemed to be working...And then last night....