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been trying to be positive

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I've been away for awhile just trying to sort myself out and get myself together mentally....A month ago I went to the doctor complaining of certain symptoms that I thought were diabetes and it turns out I've been stressing myself out so much I'm causing my body to get all whacked out. So my doctor put me on an anti depressant/anti's a new medication called Pristiq and it has done so many wonderful things for me in the past month. I've lost weight, I don't emotionally eat anymore and I'm not letting BM get to me anymore!

What a joke

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So FH decided to go ahead and call CPS...they said she's not doing anything illegal. A 5 year old can be outside while you watch from a 2nd story apartment window, I guess and it's ok for a child not to bathe unless their hair is greasy...One more for BM I guess..this woman gets away with everything. And he can wear clothes too small for him and it's ok. The worker doesn't suspect any abuse. whatever...ugh...I give up

BM not supervising FSS(advice please)

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FH is thinking about contacting CPS about BM...FSS showed up here with no clean clothes, cheap flip flops, and filthy. He then goes on to tell us that his mom lets him go outside WITHOUT her to ride his bike. They live on the 2nd floor of an apartment building and she claims to watch him from the from MY experience with CPS I was told you cannot leave a 5 year old outside UNATTENDED and watch them from the just wouldn't have time to get to them if someone snatched them up. I'm wondering if CPS will think he's just reporting her out of revenge...

pondering the idea

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After this weekend and money issues that have been going on for months, I am going to sit down with FH and tell him I can't marry him next year. I just can't marry into this mess that he has brought on himself. I did well for myself when I was on my own. And when I got my job when I moved here I told him that I would pay for half the bills and help out with groceries and such. Well I'm putting WAY more in than I should be. He makes enough money with the job he has and the free lance job he has but he seems to blow alot of money.

just venting

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So precious FSS had his birthday last week and BM invited Fh's sister and his parents, but didn't invite FH...he was hurt and angry but I told him to let it go....It was his weekend to visit this weekend, she sent him here unbathed and smelly...FSS told us he hasn't taken a bath in 2 FH put him in the bathtub and his underwear were filthy, and I mean like he doesn't bother to clean himself up after he goes to the bathroom...

The PAS is starting with BM

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This woman keeps sending FSS with underwear that are way too small! Plus he's overweight...we weighed him and checked a growth chart and he's 5 but is fitting into size 8 pants around the waist only...FH asked FSS if his mother had boughten him new underwear, FSS replies with "Mom said you never send money to take care of me" :O This woman is stupider than I thought! What does CPS do about parental alienation? And he still has those white marks on his nails and now he has rosy cheeks, rosacia?

This weekend

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was actually good! FSS and I actually got along well Smile We did sit him down and tlak to him about lying and telling stories...and he seemed to take it well. I noticed that he had these white marks on his fingernail beds, and looked it up looks like he may have some kind of vitamin deficency, I told FH if he still has those marks the next weekend he's here to take him into the dr to see what they are.


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I'm so angry I'm shaking...WHY does she insist on dragging me into crap that doesn't pertain to me?? She is blaming me, my BD and fiancee for FSS's regression and his bad behaviors.