Well, we've actually made some progress around here. Instead of SD7 going on a 2-2-3 schedule between her parent's houses, she's now here a week and at her dad's a week, and it rotates. Much better for a kid who probably has ADHD (her parents refuse to get her tested despite about 100 people, including teachers for 3 years telling them they should).

I've read in the forums how gross step kids can be. It makes me wonder if this is some way that these steps are looking for attention, or if it is just that they aren't taught properly what is acceptable or not.

The reason this has come into my head lately: SD6 has been extremely gross lately. Way worse than normal. Three incidents in particular are gross, though I am certain there have been more when we haven't been around to catch her (at her father's house, nana's house, or at school). In the last couple of weeks:

So, DW and BioDad have a joint custody arrangement that they agreed to before DW and I were married. In that agreement it clearly specifies that all costs are to be borne 50/50 between DW and BioDad , including child care, extracurricular activities, health insurance, etc. This worked out fine when SD was being taken care of by DW's mother. Then she went to preschool, and it was still ok since we paid on a weekly basis. DW and I paid every other week, BioDad paid the others. We never missed a payment, but we found out that BioDad missed several.