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Influence and Parental Time

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Hi all, DH was talking the other day that he hopes his influence on SS9 will help him become a productive, grateful, non-entitled person to help counteract the spoiling and non-parenting that BM does. It got me thinking about how possible that will be, since DH has less than 20% time with SS since we are long distance (out of state). I was encouraging and positive about it when he was talking about it, because I didn't want to be a negative Nancy.

Having a pity party for myself Re: step life

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It’s just one of those nights when I’m feeling depressed and overwhelmed about being a second wife with a SS9 and bm that will be in my life for a majority of it. I didn’t think it would be so hard and, for me, such a mind f*ck. I’m in therapy to help deal with these feelings, but I don’t think I’m as strong as some of you ladies here. I resent my husband sometimes. My relationship with my in laws, which I was looking forward to before we got married is nonexistent because of their allegiance to bm. I wish I could say eff em but I still find it hurtful.

Annoyed- unequal gift giving by inlaws

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Rant- DS just turned one! As a gift inlaws gave him a $20 toy and no card. For SSstb9, they give him cash of at least $50 and several toys/games and those oversized cards.

I plan on just ignoring, but wtf. I know ppl who have birthdays close to Christmas sometimes get the shaft but baby just turned one. They feel sorry for SS because he’s a cod.

Stepfamily resolutions?

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What are everyone’s stepfamily related new year’s resolutions? Mine is to ignore the inlaws and their trying to force an intact family ideal onto our non intact one! Acting as if we should pretend SS is both of ours rather than being raised by bm who has very different parenting values (while still ironically being overly chummy with BM. ) Basically I would like to stop giving an eff about what people think.

Social media and skids pic posting

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A little annoyed- DH called SIL who lives in another state to wish her a merry Christmas. She follows me on instagram and Facebook. When SS8 stb9 was here for his Christmas visitation, we went to this nearby well-known park one afternoon (the time when SS cried about having a wet sock) for an afternoon of family fun. Needless to say- the crying diminished the fun part. But anyway, I post photos of DS on social media occasionally, maybe 2-3 times a month and all of my accounts are private. SIL comments that she saw the pic but that she didn’t see any of SS.

Have you seen this “suck it up SM” blog?

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Apparently everyone needs to suck it up in every situation according to this shrink. For example, she tells SM here that she should be ok w BM at holidays. Click through the rest of the site- SMs feelings are rarely taken into consideration.

In-laws and skids visits

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I have a question about in-law visits and skids. In-laws had been visiting us before we moved from BM town and obviously seeing SS8 during their visits. (They live in another state, and the visits are way too long 2-3 weeks but that's another issue) Since we moved from BM town, we all live in different states (BM and SS8), us, and the in-laws. And since we've moved, in-laws have visited us when SS was with us so they could see both SS and DS at the same time. I do not enjoy these visits. FIL, MIL, SIL all put SS on a pedestal as poor COD.

Christmas card conundrum

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DS is having his first Christmas (he was born right after Christmas last year), and I wanted to do a First Christmas card with his photo, but will I get flack for not including SS8 who is long distance? We won't be seeing him here until the week of Christmas, though DH is visiting him for Thanksgiving for a couple of days. I didn't send out Birth Announcements so I wanted to send this as a combo Birth Announcement/First Christmas card. Should I get them and send to my family only and send DH's family generic Christmas cards?