No gifts please, estranged in-laws!
As some of you may know, I am estranged from my in-laws (MIL, FIL, SIL) due to their stomping on boundaries, cozying up to BM, sharing info about our lives with her and undermining DH’s parenting. DH still has a relationship with his parents, but since the issues occurred, he has pared down the relationship- not at my request, because I would never tell him not to have a relationship with his family, but because of his loyalty to me as his wife.
He has asked them MULTIPLE times not to buy or send gifts to SS9 because he is so materially spoiled (gets literally everything he ever asks for- video game systems, iPhones, iPods you name it) OR to DSstb2 since we want to have a less materialistic and more minimalistic life. They do not listen. They send SSs gifts to his mother and have sent gifts for DS here. I do not want gifts for the new baby either. If they can’t respect me as DHs wife (instead of acting like DH has to wives) I don’t want anything from them.
Is there any point in DH asking yet again for them not to send gifts? Or should we just donate them? I think they use gift giving as a way to sweep things under the rug and maintain communication. I have in the past sent thank you texts out of politeness, but I feel like if DH has asked them not to send gifts they should respect our boundaries, but I guess if they can’t respect any other boundaries why should they respect this one? It just sucks because I was raised to be kind and respectful to your elders. I was also raised in a family where no one (no extended family or anything ) got divorced, so the issue of boundaries re an ex-wife never was an issue.
So would you A. Ask again? B. Donate and ignore. (Then would you tell the truth if they ask DH if we got them) C. Something else?