Update: No gifts, please estranged in-laws!
An update to this: https://www.steptalk.org/blog/pixielady/no-gifts-please-estranged-laws-2...
FIL (in-laws live out of state) sent DH a text last week asking what DS and SS want for Christmas. AGAIN, DH was clear: please, no gifts. FIL responded that he didn't think that getting Christmas gifts from a grandfather they don't see too often will corrupt them. DH responded that it's more his and MIL and SIL's lack of boundaries with BM and their undermining his parenting SS, rather than any "corruption." That they don't respect our marriage or are loyal to him by being cozy with BM after telling them multiple times that it makes him uncomfortable, that he prefer they maintain contact with SS through him.
Lo and behold, what shows up yesterday? Gifts from both PILs and SIL for DS! To say DH and I are pissed is an understatement. And they sent them through Amazon, so if we were to return them, we would get a credit on OUR Amazon acct, which is not what we want.
Do they not realize that by not respecting our wishes regarding our family that they keep pushing us away? That if they would have taken our feelings into consideration instead of blocking their ears and doing what they want that we would be much closer and they would see all of their grandkids much more often? Where is the logic here?
Not sure if this is just a vent or needing advice. I got a lot of good advice on the last blog post about this. And if you are not a stepparent, please do not comment as I will delete your comment.