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Stepkid time

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Submitted by Doublehelix on Sun, 08/09/2020 - 12:17pm

We do a week-to-week schedule normally, but this summer each parent took one 3-week block with SD. We barely survived our block, getting out by the skin of our teeth. With schools closed, my partner started trying to implement a daily lesson plan in anticipation for the fall and it was just a disaster. She couldn't even pay attention for like 10 min and I've talked about this before where SD needs so much entertaining - she literally just follows us around the house waiting to see what we're doing or give her suggestions. You can imagine how hard 3 weeks of that would be.
 

Sister wives

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Submitted by Doublehelix on Thu, 08/06/2020 - 4:15am

I nearly laughed my *ss off today over BM's message to my partner. She wanted to "start a conversation" that if my partner wasn't working, then she wanted to talk about both families moving out of the Bay Area (bc she can work remotely) to a place where "we could buy a house." Obviously she is talking about her and SD in re: to the house, but the way she wrote it sounded like she wanted us all to go in on a house together. Yes, absolutely, bc when deciding where i want to live, my partner's kid's mom is suuuuuper high on the priority list!!

Follow-up thoughts to "would you do it again?"

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Submitted by Doublehelix on Wed, 08/07/2019 - 2:01pm

A while back there was a thread asking "would you do it again?" and I think a lot of us said no. I replied "maybe", but I would have told him that other people's children were something I didn't want to get involved with and it would have been up to him to convince me otherwise. And that would have been something I would have liked to have said early on. I think we were all too quick to say "it's ok, it's going to be fine"...so for him of course, if he thinks things are fine, he's gonna run with it bc the transition to a blended family is naturally way harder on me than him.

"You knew what you were getting into"

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Submitted by Doublehelix on Mon, 07/22/2019 - 2:25pm

I was hanging out with my friend this weekend. After she put her daughter to bed, we had some girl time. I was telling her about SD and how I have to work really hard to keep zen state of mine whenever she's around. She asked why, and I said otherwise she's just going to annoy me. Not that she's actively trying to, but sometimes I just get super annoyed by her presence, so I'm trying to control that. She asked why it annoyed me, I always knew he had a child.

Priorities - am I asking for too much?

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Submitted by Doublehelix on Tue, 07/16/2019 - 5:35pm

Fact: I do not know what it feels like to be a bioparent and FH does not know what it feels like to be a stepparent. And this causes complexities... Still, we get into these situations, and I wonder how they should be best handled, and in my frustrations and resentments, it always feels like FH puts SD above our relationship, so I'm curious if that stems from my general discomfort navigating steplife or if I truly need to speak up more for myself.