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Tracking small victories

Doublehelix's picture

I had a good weekend. I don't get to say that often these days, so I feel the need to document it.

On Friday night, I went out to dinner with my old high school friends, got back home after SD was asleep and had my usual Netflix and chill date with FH.

On Saturday, everyone lazed around on the couch until it was time for me to go have brunch and out shopping with my cousin. I only see her at most twice a year, so we laughed and gabbed all day. Called home to check in about dinner and FH sounded burned out from watching SD all day (plus there was no camp this past week so he had been watching her all week already). I was in a good mood so I offered to pick up dinner on my way home. I was still full from my snacks throughout the day so I just nibbled while they ate and watched a movie. 

On Sunday, we left in the morning to picnic with my friends and family. It was my birthday about a week ago and they had wanted to celebrate with me. My friends and cousins have toddler-age children, so SD7 is a little left out, but she didn't seem too bored - people asked about her summer, the upcoming school year, and dad also played a little catch with her. The more she notices everyone paying attention to the younger kids though, the more she tries to sit on her dad's lap, but FH was good about keeping her in check. The youngest of the kids needed to go home and nap after a few hours, so we moved the party to their house, after picking up our dog.

Again, SD was pretty good about keeping herself entertained while the adults hung out. We had a discussion about playdates. SD7 just met a new friend across the street, a little girl who was the same age. FH is always talking about how he needs to set up playdates for SD bc it's good for HER. I told him it will be good for ALL of us, so we can get some of our time back. He asked my cousins if they do playdates and they said not really bc their kids already get to play with their friends all week at preschool, so on the weekends, they want to play with their own friends! I hope FH took that to heart. LOL

Sometimes I wonder what my friends and family are thinking when they hang out with SD. For the most part, she's a good kid, but she plays with our dog a little rough and I could see my BFF getting a little squeamish over that. (If it's excessive, we of course do chime in.) Like her mom, she likes to talk about herself a lot and will insert these random stories/comments that no one really cares about. Funniest part of the day was when the conversation among the adults died down for a bit and she was like "it's too quiet!" We asked her, what do you want to talk about? She didn't know, but she kept going on about how quiet it was. My cousin, who is a psychiatrist, leaned into his therapist persona and asked "why don't we talk about why the quiet bothers you so much?" The adults roared with laughter and joked to SD - "It's free therapy! Take it!!!"

During dinner, FH and I were sitting on a 2-seater bench at the end of the table together. (SD had actually said "I wanted to sit there but someone took my seat" referring to me. In reality, I had already sat in the seat first and thinking about the seat doesn't give you dibs, so whatever, I just ignored her lol) FH had been playfully ragging on me earlier in the day, so he leaned in, apologized about something (couldn't hear - the kids were raging!), and gave me a kiss. SD asked me where she could sit. (Always with the "what about meee??") There were obviously open seats at the other end of the (not that big) table, but she whined that it was SOOO FAR FROM DADDEEEE... My cousin's wife kindly gave up her chair so she could sit next to daddeeee... Every time FH got up, she would take his seat next to me on the bench, but FH was good and would say "I'm not done eating with Doublehelix. Please go back to your own seat." The toddlers were all running around doing their own things, and we'd ooh and ahh when they were being cute. SD broke into a baby voice and FH put the kibosh on that immediately. She's also always eating things off people's plate w/o asking...usually it's some kind of leftover that was pretty much abandoned, but we need to remind SD she still needs to ASK the original owner first.

All in all, it was a successful weekend - I got personal time, we had family time, while still being social - and I'm hoping there will be more weekends like these that remind me why I bother to tolerate this blended family life! Don't get me wrong - this is NOT typical - but maybe there's hope?? I hope some of you had good weekends as well and wish you all a great week! Smile

Comments

CLove's picture

Your Skid sounds REALLY irritating! LOL.

There is always hope Biggrin

Doublehelix's picture

She doesn't act anything like her dad, so I assume she inherited her personality from her mom. "Your ex must be REALLY irritating" I told FH...lol  

 

Monkeysee's picture

I’m glad your FH doesn’t put up with your SD’s behaviour.. I agree she sounds really annoying! My YSS has started with baby talknrecently & it’s like nails on a chalkboard. Neither DH or I put up with it but it doesn’t stop him from trying. Ugh

hereiam's picture

The key is your FH staying consistent in reinforcing proper behavior with his daughter.

My SD has always been VERY quiet (I've known her since she was 5). Turns out it's because she has no personality. She's 28 and has no more to say than when she was 5.

Your SD just needs to learn (be taught by adults) when it's appropriate to talk and what is appropriate to talk about.

Doublehelix's picture

YES...normally it's easier to list out all the things that go WRONG, so I just wanted to acknowledge this weekend and remind myself it is a work in progress...PROGRESS being the key...I hope it continues, as you said.

Well she's not gonna learn that from her mom, so we've got our work cut out for us!  :P  Once she was old enough to rehash embarassing stories about her dad though, he started giving lessons on what's appropriate and telling her to ask first, lol