Is it wrong to want ONE thing with DH that doesn't involve SS?
I already have a feeling everyone is going to say "this is your fault; you knew he had a kid". If that is going to be your response, please move along. Trust me. I know he had a kid. What I didn't know was how "leechy" dh and ss would become the older ss got. It creeps me out. Plus, I'm tired and I had a $hitty birthday. Let me vent, please.
SS has now started sitting in the front seat. I don't know when this started. He is very short, barely can get on the rides at the amusement parks. Now our state doesn't have laws on child age for sitting in the front, but majority of websites pushes for 13 and up. He isn't even 11. I don't know why this bothers me. It was my birthday yesterday and I happened to be with dh when he went to pick up ss for visitation. (Yay...visitation on my birthday) SS immediately runs to get in the front seat and sees me there, scowls, and gets in the back. When it was time to drop him off, as soon as dh started his vehicle (remote start) ss ran outside to get in the front. I wasn't going with for drop off, but I'm praying this doesn't become a stupid issue of "who gets to sit in the front" as soon as it's time to go. Kids sat in the back when adults were in the vehicle, that's just how it always was when I was younger.
Peeve number 2:
DH and I either go camping over July 4th weekend (if it's visitation) or we go to my cousins cabin (if no visitation).
It depends on the visitation rotation. Thanks to the holiday schedule+regular schedule this year, we have ss for over a week straight. I'm already dreading this. SS hates camping. DH swears ss loves it. No dh....ss "loves it" for about 1.5 days, then it becomes "its too hot/buggy/smokey/I'm bored/are we leaving yet/when are we going back to YOUR house/etc" or a "how much $ are we going to spend on ss to make sure he is constantly entertained". I always have to make sure the campsite has wifi so ss can get bored/hot/tired and sit inside the camper playing computer games with a fan 5 inches from his face. Love spending $45+/night for the kid to sit indoors. If he wanted to do that we could've stayed home. The ONE time we rented a site with no wifi...ss literally sat in dh truck with dh cell phone plugged in and burned through the data for BOTH our cell phone plans in one day. (Thank god Dh has his own phone plan now). When I brought up our limited data plan dh said "ss is bored, what am I supposed to do, tell him to sit there and stare outside?" This campsite had three HUGE playgrounds filled with kids ss age playing. SS didn't even bother checking it out, and dh didn't encourage it. When I tried suggesting we walk to the parks to check them out, I was met by a "nah"...no matter what I tried to do. Dh tried "catch", mini-golf, bike rentals (lasted 10 minutes, ss didn't like the bike) everything under the sun...but as soon as his attention wasn't 100% on ss it became a whine-fest of "daaaadeeee when are we going back to yoooooouuur house?"
Anyway, DH couldn't find a site this year. I left the planning up to him because I told him we had no money for camping this year. He swore we did. Needless to say, if you don't have a site pre-booked in March for July 4th, good luck finding a vacancy. DH started looking around April 1st, sure enough, nothing is available. It also doesn't help that we can't even pick up ss until 4p.m. on July 3rd. Most campsites require "holiday booking". Example, 2016 visitation I had to book the campsite from July 2nd to the 8th even though we couldn't pick up ss until the evening of the 4th due to the schedule. So I wasted money on 2.5 days that we weren't able to be there. Plus by the time we picked up ss, sat in traffic for hours thanks to rush hour, and actually arrived to the site it was dark. We were setting up with flashlights while ss sat in the truck and complained non-stop about bugs and being too hot.
I'm getting off topic. So Dh was talking to my cousin about how he "can't find a campsite this year" and my damn cousin suggests "why don't you guys bring the camper up to our cabin for the 4th this year?" Great. Just great.
Some things about the cabin: it is old. There is no internet. There is nothing "in town" to do. When Dh and I go there, we relax, sunbathe, drink, listed to music, play poker with the neighbors, go golfing, etc. It isn't this "action packed weekend". There isn't even a TV so ss won't be able to play his video games. (how much do you want to bet that we will be bringing SS' flatscreen from his room?) None of our cabin friends have kids ss age, they all have kids now in their mid-twenties with very young kids of their own. The other reason it bothers me? That is "our spot". That is literally the only thing dh and I have e/o year that DOESN'T include ss. We can't go to a restaurant without taking ss, if we go to a campsite on a non-skid weekend we MUST re-book the following weekend so ss can see it. My life doesn't revolve around ss. Add this on to the 'front seat" thing and I'm just feeling overwhelmed that soon this spawn will be taking over my life the older he gets instead of maturing and learning life skills and, oh I don't know, actually making friends and having sleepovers like a normal kid? Not relying on adults for constant entertainment?
Dh bought "me" a sound bar sound system for my birthday. I didn't ask for one. I asked him to pay the f'ing bills.
First thing he did was set it up in the living room to watch a movie that SS wanted to watch. Laying side-by-side on the couch with ss wrapped in a blanket because ss was "cold" and wanted to 'snuggle' (*GAG*) Gee honey...thanks. I love when men use your birthday as an excuse to get something they want. I spent my birthday on our porch reading, being ignored by everyone. My dad was the only one who called. My brother drunk dialed to wish me a happy birthday...then turned it into wanting dh and I to go to his dr appointment in a few months to discuss his next care plan..
I know I sound petty and stupid. I get it. But it just sucks that every year for DH birthday it involves going out to eat, camping, drinking, taking time off work, grilling, grocery planning, just a week-long celebration with or without ss-...then my birthday comes and nothing, and my family forgets. For all they ask from me; my family sucks.