You are here

Bio-Step-Mom's Blog

DH YOU are the reason you feel like we don't like your kids.

Bio-Step-Mom's picture

SS couldn't come with us but SD13, BS14, BD16 are with us. When skid(s) are with us DH has complete tunnel vision and pretty much only interacts with skid.

Yet he swears we don't treat skids like a family member (how can we when you are sitting there in their face every fucking moment coddling them?!). He walked into the room where all 3 kids were and asked SD13 "are you okay? Do you need anything?"

Ugh.

He actually thought BS and BD would sleep in the let out in the hotel room and SD would sleep in the king bed with us.

What the hell is wrong with you?

I don't want to go to his family reunion

Bio-Step-Mom's picture

Love my DH, don't have any real issues with skids but definitely have an issue with DH becoming super annoying when he has skids.

My bios will be with their dad. I do not want to go.

I don't want to go watch him annoyingly dote over teen skids.
I don't want to watch him piss money that he doesn't have (separate finances)
I totally don't want to spend MY money on the trip
This side of his family isn't even close and there's already drama

I just am dreading the thought of going but he's going to be a baby if I say I don't want to go

Yes, I *KNOW* it makes me "mean stepmama" but...

Bio-Step-Mom's picture

I am secretly glad that skids aren't coming this summer.

DH will go and visit them and we will pick them up on the way to go to his family reunion but they aren't spending the entire summer here.

I like them. They aren't bad kids. But the disruption is so great that it is SO stressful every summer. It starts out fine but soon all hell breaks loose.

SS13 and BD16 do not get along.
SD13 and BS14 do not get along.
SD13 and BD16 do not get along.

SD13 and BS14 are manipulative little jerks sometimes and cause all kinds of hell.

Does DH use the same "petnames" with you and SDs?

Bio-Step-Mom's picture

I have one SD, two SS and being that we only see them in the summer, I honestly have no real ill feelings towards my skids. I am more like an interested side party than a parent and I'm okay with that.

Last summer I noticed DH start calling her "babe" and I stopped responding when he called me "babe" (while the kids were here) as it was odd. My bios have no misunderstanding who I am talking to when I call out "babe" yet both of us answering when DH said it felt I-C-K-Y.

Yesterday he text me, "yes babe?" and I was like...huh? "oh, that was me responding to SD. sorry".

How much of SMs personal info does BM have access to?

Bio-Step-Mom's picture

This will be the first year that DH and I file taxes together as I just made way too much last year for us to file separate. There would be a shitload of money owed to the IRS. But I really don't want BM (moreso the exW) to have any of my personal info. And I know with my own CS battles with my bio kids' dad, the court docs always had ALL of our info (mine, ex and the other BM).

Will filing together make my ssn, employer and salary available to BM?

Counseling? Did it help you?

Bio-Step-Mom's picture

We have never done counseling; premarital or otherwise. I think we should have, DH thinks "it won't help".

We are at an impasse and have separated but making the move to divorce when you love each other is HARD to say the least. In a nutshell, we both honestly kind of suck as stepparents. Is it something that can be "fixed"? I don't know... As for our marriage, it isn't bad, though there are communication and trust (regarding the kids) issues. I think for sure, those things can be fixed.