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Does DH use the same "petnames" with you and SDs?

Bio-Step-Mom's picture

I have one SD, two SS and being that we only see them in the summer, I honestly have no real ill feelings towards my skids. I am more like an interested side party than a parent and I'm okay with that.

Last summer I noticed DH start calling her "babe" and I stopped responding when he called me "babe" (while the kids were here) as it was odd. My bios have no misunderstanding who I am talking to when I call out "babe" yet both of us answering when DH said it felt I-C-K-Y.

Yesterday he text me, "yes babe?" and I was like...huh? "oh, that was me responding to SD. sorry".

Now I NEVER want him to call me babe even when SD isn't around! LOL!!!! Is that weird?

Comments

Jmom's picture

OMG yes (in the beginning). DH had a bad habit of calling me and SD13 "BOO". As in "can you get this for me boo" or "Thank you so much Boo". It drove me nuts until I brought to his attention that he was calling a child and the same woman he had just had a LOT of fun with the night before the same term of endearment . . .he was instantly grossed out and it never happened again. I to this day hold the title of "BOO"!

Unfreakingreal's picture

Yes and I have stopped getting upset about it because the man is just freaking clueless.
He calls us both "BABE" "HONEY" and "SWEETIE".

It used to annoy me really bad, now it's the norm, when she is at the house and he calls out any of those names, I never reply. If he says "I was calling you why didn't you respond?" I always say "I never know how you're talking to anymore so I just ignore you."

He'll have the blank stare like "What are you talking about?" He's just clueless. It's not a hill to die on anymore, I ignore it.

Jena714's picture

Oh my gosh yes. DH used to do this all the time when we were first dating. Still does sometimes. I just ignored him. Then when he asked why I ignored him I told him to call me by my name. It grosses me out. If baby is something you say to your daughter, it should definitely not be what you call the woman you share a bed/life with. I do call my son baby, because he is 9 months old, I have never called DH that. Never will as long as I am calling DS, that wouldn't feel right. Why are men so weird sometimes?

Mercury's picture

Ugh. DH called SD12 "babe" in front of me. The context was something like "hey babe, are you almost ready? We want to leave in 10 minutes".

I got mad and said something about it. He said it was just a habit and the context was different than the way he says it to me. It still grossed me out and I made it clear that if he continued, he wasn't allowed to call me that anymore.

He still forgets. Grrr.

Shaman29's picture

H called both skid and I sweetie. Drove us both nuts.

ETA - When we told him we didn't like it, he said he sucks at nicknames. I said, then call us by our given names.

(jackass) <-------- that was in my head.

attempting_to_maintain_composure's picture

Had this issue with FDH. For the first six months of our relationship, he called me "hon" or "darlin" and referred to SD as "kiddo". Then, he started calling both me and SD "hon". Did it for a while but one day I got sick of it and spoke up. I was tired of FDH trying to get my attention and SD running over to him when he said "hey, hon, c'mere a sec." At that time, it was bad enough that SD was physically inserting herself between the two of us on a regular basis. That did me in. We hashed it out in therapy one day and I said that it felt gross that he called me the same thing he called SD and that I felt like it diminished my role in his life by calling SD the same thing he called me. Either he had to think of a new nickname for SD, think of a new nickname for me, or just call us by our given names. He reverted back to calling SD "kiddo."

SD still has a problem not responding when FDH calls me "hon," though :/

Bio-Step-Mom's picture

I just thought, I should start calling DS "babe" hahahaha!

It really is annoying...SO annoying.

BethAnne's picture

I hate the term "babe", it is demeaning to a full grown woman and too sexual for a daughter. honey, sweetie, darling...these are genuine terms of endearment; yes getting them muddled between wife and your daughter is probably not a great path to go down but i find babe just plain offensive all round. Just my personal opinion, but those who call me it soon learn that it is not to be repeated.

not2sureimsaneanymore's picture

Before I had BD I would have had a problem with it, but... DH calls us the same (not babe though)--baby girl, baby doll, monkey, love of my life, honey, sweetheart etc. So now I don't know what to say because I have no feelings of jealousy towards my own daughter, but probably would have a problem with it if she wasn't mine.

:/

Bio-Step-Mom's picture

I still wouldn't want him calling my bio daughter and me "babe" or the same name!!!