So we celebrated all our LO first holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas). Obviously a lot of pictures are taken around these times. Is it wrong for me to want some pictures just the 3 of us and then some of the 4 of us (including my step daughter)? I understand I am with someone who has previous children and I love her, I just wanted a few with only us. I see some posts that tear women apart for "excluding" their step kids from that stuff but it's not that I don't want her in any pictures.
Ok everyone, it finally happened. The dreaded dinner talk. It didn't go entirely as expected. I rode home from work with DH, and he said the skids were late, but they arrived that afternoon. He said he "lit into them and told them how much they hurt him when they told him he was a failure." Dh was in a foul mood. I was feeling okay until late afternoon, when my heart started doing the "fight or fight flip". I tried deep breathing, but it wasn't working.
Last month, I went through a very rough patch with my SD and her BM. Sprouting from me asking my SD why she was sent home from school (for verbally threatening some girls). I received very nasty, almost abusive texts from BM. And I did respond diplomatically once and only once. This resulted in a further abusive email response and I then blocked mommy dearest (as i call her). Later, I reviewed the response and decided to write a response but not send it as there is no point in doing so. It was more for my own sanity.
I'm recently 25. I had a lot of plans for what I was going to do with my life and then I met someone at work. We've been together for about a year and a half and I've been told that we have been through more crap in that time than my friends who have been together for 10 years.
I never expected to be with someone who has kids but it wasn't an idea that scared me. And rightly so. What should have scared me was the prospect of having my life controlled by someone who wasn't in it but adjacent to it, the ex (BM).
I have a 12 yo/SD...we got along well until my husband and I got married (3 years ago). She is eith us every Tuesday and every other weekend. I always get anxiety knowing she is coming over. I get frustrated bc my husband does not enforce ANY rules or make her accountable for anything, making me the "bad guy" for asking her to do the basics...putting dishes away, cleaning her room etc...
This is what DH said about SD13 last night while we were discussing the evening's events. Here's the recap:
DH and the kids (SD13 and DD3) get home. DH and DD say hello; no hello from SD, which has been the norm for a while.
My husband and I have been married for 3 years. He has 3 kids: 22, 18, and 15, and we have two babies together. I get along with the older two just fine (the oldest is on his own) but my SD I can't stand and I feel awful for even saying that. Our relationship started off fine but early on she would steal any and everything from everyone then lie about it even when she got caught. She's very loud and loves having the attention on her. She picks fights and is so disrespectful to everyone. Now, she can be helpful and nice but I always question whether or not it's genuine.
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, mostly due to the fact that I've disengaged from both SD10 and SD15. Initially, I had only planned to disengage from SD15. However in lieu of recent events/changes in SD10's behavior (mimicking her sister's behavior to a tee) I found it a lot easier to disengage with both.
Here is what I did:
-Reminded DH that in the recent past I had told him that if the SD's bad behavior and disrespect continues, I would disengage from one or both.
Hello StepTalkers! It's been a couple of months since I posted and I hope you're all doing well. I suppose I took a little break from venting here because I was trying to make a grand effort to stay on the positive with my relationship with Mr. Ed and completely disengage from SDs, ya know? But...I woke up this morning with so much resentment, frustration, and anxiety about this situation and I knew exactly where to go for support and clarity. In advance, thank you so much for this space and the experience you all bring to it!
Where We Were
Well let me give you a brief overview I am married to my DH for almost 2 years he has 2 teen daughters. SD one is 14 and an awesome person couldn't love her more. SD two is 13 and I don't know how to even start with her. Biomom died almost four years ago and was a shitty shitty psycho person. She had a lot of problems mental and physical. SD 14 hates her and wants me to adopt her. SD 13 is the epitome of evil. Just this past week she wrote a note at school that she got instutionalized for while she has been there barely any phone calls to my DH and she is supposed to get out on Sunday.