An update on my situation from my forum post 'No More Alone Time'
First of all I never got to see my counsellor since she had to get tested for Covid. And things have been a bit calmer since so I haven't rescheduled.
So I started couple's counseling with BF 3 weeks ago and its been going okay so far. I like the advice she's given us about our relationship, and it's working in the sense that it's helping us rebuild our relationship and make it stronger. She's given us great tips about what we can do to improve ourselves and we've both been taking action, so there's hope for us. We are actually going away for a couples weekend this weekend, and for the first time in over 8 months, I'll have BF all to myself for an entire weekend!!! No DD (though I love her dearly and will miss her) and no skids!!!
I like to get an outsider's perspective to be sure I'm not being overly judgy.
Let me preface this, I am an only child and my bioparents were married until I was an adult. So, I dont know anything about having a sibling etc.
Anyway, SD lives with DH and me primarily. There are no other children in the HH. At BM's she has a half sister and a stepbrother (but stepbrother living with his BM). Anyway SD is about to be 7 and is still sharing a bed with her 3 year old sister. They also take baths together. Is this normal?
A little background. I've been married to DH a little over a year, together for 3. SD is 6 and she has lived primarily with us for the last year. Before that she lived with us 50% of the time, on 2 days, off 2 days, on 3 days. That sort of thing.
Anyway, for the most part we are close. I do love her but sometimes she does annoy me and I like to have my own space.
Lately, I've been wondering if we should have our own baby. This would be my first baby, DH's second. SD has a half sister (3) at BM. Plus a step-brother (8) at BM's that she only sees in the summer.
My husband and I have the best relationship... until 10 yr old SS is here. We have one child together who is 1.5 and I am very pregnant with our second. Husband puts his son on such a pedestal when he is here because BM is not pleasant for anyone and feels bad for his kid. I get that to a point... but I can't even have five minutes alone with my husband while his son is here. Every single thing is about his kid, not me or our son. He has no discipline of him and gets mad at me when I step in and say something is not going to fly under my roof. I am so tired of being the bad guy.
My partner and I decided on health insurance that was best for our arriving newborn and his two kids with his baby moms. He did ask her opinion earlier on but then decided to go with what was more affordable and staying in the same network that the baby would be born under. We chose to do Kaiser for health insurance, but she wanted UnitedHealthcare since her kids have had it since birth. My partner made the change and since she has state insurance his insurance will become the primary. She’s upset.
My partners son is 13 and has a pretty severe case of ADHD. I thought I could handle it and after living together it really opened my eyes to the severity and I became very overwhelmed and depressed and as a result it put a strain on me and my partners relationship. I have a five year old boy who is very active and social and I became very aware and worried of the negative influence his son was having on mine. We obviously raised our children very differently as most parents do but the result of that was rubbing off on my son.
I didnt know that being a stepmom and being in a blended family was so hard. Im on my second marriage and things are definitely different. No privacy and more responsibilities!
So my SD wants a quinceanera I've been there since she was 1 with my DH. SD will be having a quinceanera in a couple of years me and DH are both Catholic but BM is not she thinks it's stupid to have a " big party" for a15th birthday. My SD does not want to invite BM because she doesn't want drama with her. We haven't started the planning because we are early I'm just not sure how to go about planning this party without looking like I'm excluding BM I mentioned to my DH that BM can have her own party since she doesn't believe in quinceanera anyways. What should I do?
So, I have 2 boys of my own and my SS lives with us full time. I have been with his father since he was two years old. My DH and I have been married for two years. He and I have each been married twice before. He has two other children both adults. I have one adult son who is going to school and lives with us and another in high school. Though I was married before they were very short marriages and I really was a single mother for most of my son's lives. My husband did not raise his two older children and had them every weekend until they were teens.