My partners son has ADHD and it’s ruining our relationship
My partners son is 13 and has a pretty severe case of ADHD. I thought I could handle it and after living together it really opened my eyes to the severity and I became very overwhelmed and depressed and as a result it put a strain on me and my partners relationship. I have a five year old boy who is very active and social and I became very aware and worried of the negative influence his son was having on mine. We obviously raised our children very differently as most parents do but the result of that was rubbing off on my son.
Not only is this young teen going through all the normal stages of puberty and maturing but he is going through it with adhd which makes everything 100 times worse. Some of the bad behaviours include extremely poor hygiene, sneaking food and hiding the leftovers in his room (I was finding rotten food constantly), the inability to focus on anything other then video games and stupid you tube videos, no social cues st all, he is very wierd which hey we are all wierd in one way or another but he makes wierd noises and even when asked to stop he forgets so quickly and starts making wierd noises again. His attitude is out of this world, he will stomp his feet and walk away when he doesn’t get his way and scream and cry like you’re beating him. A few weeks ago he hid food from his lunch under my sons bed because he didn’t want to get in trouble for not eating the healthy snacks and the only reason I found them was because I saw a trail of ants coming from under my sons bed and when I moved the bed I found fruit from who knows when just shoved under there. He either wants to play video games or watch you tube videos of people playing video games. He has pushed teachers at school and often gets teased by his peers because of his poor hygiene. I love my partner very much and obviously I know he comes as a package deal and if I take one I must take them all. I am struggling because now that we live apart my sons behaviour has done a 360 flip. My son is a very smart boy and I don’t want him singing chicken nugget songs he learns from his stepbrother who is maturing at the speed of a tortoise. I’m trying not to be selfish but I want my son to be an astronaut not a chicken nugget. I really don’t know what to do and I need to talk about this with anyone who may be in a similar situation or who has experience with young teens who have adhd. I am trying to educate myself on his condition but everything I read says it doesn’t get better, the problems will only change as he gets older and I really don’t want my son to be around him. Am I a bad person? I feel so terrible like I think my kid is better or something. I’m just worried and want the best for my son. This man is amazing to him but I cannot stand his child. Please help me!!!