Losing my mind
My husband and I have the best relationship... until 10 yr old SS is here. We have one child together who is 1.5 and I am very pregnant with our second. Husband puts his son on such a pedestal when he is here because BM is not pleasant for anyone and feels bad for his kid. I get that to a point... but I can't even have five minutes alone with my husband while his son is here. Every single thing is about his kid, not me or our son. He has no discipline of him and gets mad at me when I step in and say something is not going to fly under my roof. I am so tired of being the bad guy. I have anxiety and depression to start with, and I feel like I just shut down the second SS is here, which makes my husband really angry that I'm quiet and reserved because that must mean "I hate his kid." He told me just now he is trying really hard not to resent me because I ruin their time together by choosing to step back and focus on my son and my pregnancy, which is high risk and very stressful. I am losing it. I have tried to get him to go to counseling with me because he does not know or franky care how it feels to be in my position, but every time it gets close, he finds an excuse to back out. He thinks I am being selfish, and maybe I am. It's just hard to be on the backburner with my son while SS is here and my husband doesn't see what the problem is. SS can do no wrong, and I'm forever the wicked stepmother. I am to the point I don't even want to be here when SS is because it never ends well for our marriage. I'm a stay at home mom and so I do a lot for my SS- drive him around, make sure HW gets done, cook dinner, clean his laundry, etc. But it just doesn't matter to my husband. I am so frustrated and just sick of being crushed by having hopes that maybe it won't always be so hard. I don't know what to do.