Thanks for all your helpful comments. The In-law thing eventually worked out after I absolutely went off of them. After we had been married for oh about 6 or 7 years, and they were putting my bk off just so that the little bit of time that the sk were around they wouldnt feel bad, I had had enough. The breaking point was when they were having a spend the night party with "all the grandkids" and did not invite my kids. Well this did not set well with me. Because regardless of the situation, my kids couldnt help the situation anymore than the sk could. It was things like this over time, that really did not help my resentment. Eventually, due to many many things, the visits stopped. Now here we are 17 years into marriage, and the kids are 21 and 18. The 21 year old has been married and divorced and has a kid,my dh still pays child support to the ex, because he "doesnt have time to get it modified" whatever. My kids know that they have these other 2 sibs, but they dont know them. My husband and I have done what we could to provide a good life for them. I am resentful and am not even sure why. I have no desire to have a relationship with these people that I do not know. I feel horrible about this. I am usually a very fun loving person, and to feel this way literally makes me feel so abnormal. There were some pretty terrible things that happend in the beginning that I remember and feel went against me as a young bride and mom. I am trying to let God heal this, but am finding it very difficult.