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My plan for dealing with SS19's tuition shortfall - thoughts?

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Submitted by WokeUpABug on Sat, 03/26/2016 - 12:40pm

So I spent a bunch of time running numbers and I figured out there are two reasons SS19 is short on tuition this year:

1. Because BM has not paid her "promised" share. ("promised" is in quotes bc she's promised various amounts over the past year, but I've decided to hold her to her most recent promised amount of $10,000. This seems reasonable for a woman who makes over $100,000 per year. That she wants to spend her money sending the the other kids to private school is neither here nor there)

I really like our counselor

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Submitted by WokeUpABug on Thu, 03/17/2016 - 1:31pm

Talked about a lot of stuff last night, but focused on SS19 and BM.

- counselor told DH "you can only afford what you can afford." She wasn't necessarily against DH cosigning loans but stressed we needed to figure our exactly what we could afford, including loans, and limit our contribution to that.

- she suggested DH broach the subject of transferring schools with SS19. DH listened in a way he would not have had it been me.

DH wants to talk about what we are going to do about SS19 college tuition tonight

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Submitted by WokeUpABug on Mon, 03/14/2016 - 3:18pm

For the sake of my marriage I am going to try to keep an open mind. SS19 is over $10k short for the spring semester. We've already paid our promised amounts and BM has yet to contribute for spring. I don't want the kid to have to drop out, but we can't afford to set a precedent where skids sign up for whatever college they want, BM doesn't pay what she promised, and we end up bailing them out.

BM asked DH to cosign a loan for SS19 college

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Submitted by WokeUpABug on Wed, 03/09/2016 - 12:32pm

Follow up to earlier post. My spidey senses were tingling so I checked DHs email. Sure enough there was an email from BM. Last they left it he asked if she was going to pay anymore of SS19s tuition and she say not much more and suggested he cosign loans. DH did not respond. So today this:

"Would you be willing to cosign a loan for SS19 so he can build credit. We would choose pay as you go option and I would make payments until he has a job and ensure the payments are made. Once he establishes credit in 6 months he can take out loans in his own name."

OT - DHs friend called him yesterday

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Submitted by WokeUpABug on Tue, 03/08/2016 - 8:10am

Follow up to yesterday's blog... She called him and started basically telling him how bad his friend was. That he was abusive "mentally and emotionally " (not physically), etc. etc. My DH was not overly sympathetic and just tried to remain neutral as they are both his friends but he is closer with her ex.

I asked him if she still wanted to meet him for lunch or drinks. He said she seemed pretty frustrated he wasn't taking her side so he doubted it....

Somewhat OT - DH female friend wants to "share" with him over lunch or drinks

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Submitted by WokeUpABug on Mon, 03/07/2016 - 12:48pm

DH has a good friend that had a longtime GF (say 10 years). So obviously he's friends with her too. We heard recently they broke up. Most of the time DH knew them he was single. We've been married 2 years now. Anyway she texted DH over the weekend would he meet her for lunch or drinks she has something to "share" with him. He said well he guessed he better go. But I reminded him how when we got married he said he didn't agree with married people having solo time with members of the opposite sex unless for business. I reminded him of that. He was all "well I HAVE to go."

crickets on SS19 college tuition

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Submitted by WokeUpABug on Fri, 03/04/2016 - 12:00pm

So strange... It's been over 1 week since BM emailed DH that she could not pay anymore to SS19s college and that "he would have to take out loans." I figured DH would have come to me by now begging for us to cosign so SS19 could stay in school. Or asking for us to send next semesters money now. But instead... Nothing. He doesn't know I saw the email. Just checked SS19 school account - no one has paid anything recently. I guess I'll just keep quiet. If the parents aren't going to deal with it why should I?

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