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Intent to relocate? Need help.

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BM and DH are currently in a custody and support dispute. She filed a silly petition for mental health eval of DH which she immediately withdrew. Today we get a letter from court saying petition for mental health eval is officially withdrawn, then in a new paragraph this language.

Notice of intent to relocate: No party may make a change in the residence of any child which impacts the ability of the other party to exercise custodial rights without first complying with (insert applicable statute here).

BM says we don't need to save for retirement- what a relief!

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Here we were, budgeting, scrimping hoping to take advantage of the miracle of compound interest. But today we learned from BM that we don't have to! In fact we can afford to continue to send 3 kids to private school and one to college if we just don't save for retirement. There will be plenty of time to save later, when DH is 55.

Just thought you all would want to know, in case you are making the same mistake!

DH now selling his car for skids private school tuitions

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Court is in a few months. BM refused to take kids out of private even though DH had a big paycut and she declared bankruptcy earlier this year. Now that her debt has been restructured (erased) she probably has the money to fund her 30 percent share. We don't and aren't going to declare bankruptcy. So off to court we go. In the meantime DH is selling his car so he has extra cash on hand in case the judge doesn't find our way.

BM, SS18, and the dog.

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Let me preface this by saying I'm a huge animal lover. Every dog I've ever owned has been adopted. So recently BM adopted a pit bull puppy. It has beef decided that this is SS18's dog. What that seems to mean is that SS18 brings the dog to our house every other week Thursday to Sunday. I wouldn't mind except the dog isn't house trained and peed on our bed twice last weekend. Now we are having floors refinished so there can't be any stains. I told DH to tell SS no dog this weekend but he didn't respond to text so I am guessing dog will be there.

Budget woes... Or why doesn't DH get it?

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If you've read any of my past blogs you'd know that my #1 issue with step-life is money. Or the lack thereof. I've been topping off our joint account hundreds of dollars a month since we got married. I finally met my Waterloo this week and said, no more. I told DH, I don't care if we lose our cars, I don't care if we lose our house, I don't care if there is someone lying there on the operating table and all they need is the last $200 to get their life-saving operation, I'm not putting any more of my private money into the account. A bit of hyperbole but you get the point.

Gotta get my head straight. Mostly a vent.

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DH calls me up this morning and tells me he need to decide about whether he should go to SD16s father daughter dance. It costs $130. I tell him it's up to him. He says he thinks we don't have the money. I tell him what's budgeted for the kids and that their account (I keep a separate one just for their stuff) is underfunded. He sighs and says well I guess I won't go. I said, go if it's important to you, we will cut somewhere else. He says, "I don't even know what is important anymore."

DH on the verge of losing SS18... Not sure what to do.

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So SS18 has decided he won't come over for visitation with his other siblings this weekend (it's DH's weekend). This is because we grounded SS18 (and my DD18) after they threw a party at our house while we were away. SS18 said he was sorry, actually seemed sorry, but now this. BM of course doesn't support the grounding since she doesn't think SS18 should be punished for anything, ever.

BM tells SS18 of course he can attend private college

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Had to delete a few earlier posts but... We had been waiting to see what kind of aid package SS18 would get to the private college he applied early decision to. We have been trying to steer him to public, but BM thinks he deserves private. Sure enough he got only a few thousand in grants (price tag is $65k). So completely unworkable right?

Things collapsing quickly. BM filed for bankruptcy.

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I posted a few days ago about DHs crappy bonus and how we would now go to court to decrease CS and try to get out of private school obligation. Well today we learn:

SS17 got very little financial aid to his private college, the total bill will still be over $50k. BM can only contribute $5. But she still wants him to go. Doesn't like the public college.

BM declared bankruptcy in November. She cannot qualify to consign any student loans. She claims to DH she doesn't think she can live on less support.

Has anyone had their DH lose a job or get demoted? What happened to support?

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So long story short, DH got his bonus today. It was not good. Like half of normal not good. He is in a profession where 50% of his salary comes as a bonus, so this is like a 25% pay cut for the year, that we just found out about.

Those of you who have read my past blogs know that DH and BM have four kids in private school that they can barely afford (and that I make up budget shortfalls in our house). Well now they just plain can't afford it. My question is what will happen if BM doesn't see the light. If they go before a judge, what is likely to happen?

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