I know I'm being a blog hog, but bear with me. We talked again on the ride in. I tried to be understanding but also take a hard line with DH.

- DH pointed out I am spending a fair amount of my money to send my DD to an expensive school. I pointed out that I had the means to do so, and that all of the money so far had come from earnings on investments I had prior to our marriage. I will start a new job soon and my income will increase significantly, so I plan to partly use my income to pay DD college tuition. Total amount I will spend from my salary will be same as we currently promised to SS19. But it's true that DD19s school is more expensive.

- I told DH if he could promise me that this shortfall was the last time this would happen we'd be having a different conversation. But that I was taking the long view. This isn't about the couple grand SS owes for this year. This is about the next 3 kids and what assurance do we have BM will pay her share? He agreed we had no assurance similar problems wouldn't crop up again. I asked him would he promise me to draw a line somewhere of a line he wouldn't cross in terms of bailing out kids. He said he couldn't because he didn't know what future held.

- I told him us allowing SS to go to that college was a big mistake. He did not agre, saying SS was happy there and not all decisions should be about money. I said if you are choosing between two options and you can afford both, then sure, you can make a decision not based on money. But if you can't afford one you aren't making the decision based on money, you're making it based on reality.

We will talk about it more tonight at counseling I'm sure. But the more I talk to DH the less I'm inclined to be flexible. I think his mind set is totally wrong. And given that mindset we are headed for a lot more of this in the future.