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This pregnancy is draining

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Submitted by Toastergirl on Wed, 05/24/2017 - 6:55pm

Fifth pregnancy, second child (the others ended in miscarriages). I'm 14 weeks and the all day sickness has somewhat subsided but I'm still just physically and mentally drained. I am completely unable to focus on work and have zero drive. I feel so guilty to have piles of work go unfinished. I'm also just mentally in a rut. It feels like the stress never ends Sad

Losing it-Spring Break Day 1

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Submitted by Toastergirl on Sat, 03/11/2017 - 6:26pm

Recap: I have a high conflict PAS hex. Hex spent all last week planning events with SD for this week (spring Break). The Court order clearly states it is the fathers year to have the child for spring break on odd years. Hex Had SD last year. Hex built up all the plans she was going to do with SD (buy a cotton candy machine, take her to a water park two hours away), and either:

SD and hex bought toddler door locks

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Submitted by Toastergirl on Sun, 01/29/2017 - 12:05am

Quick background: SD (age 11) and DD (2 and a half) share a room. It's not ideal, but we do not have a spare bedroom yet and since SD is only here every other weekend and the Monday night after the weekend we don't have, it made zero sense to have a toddler in our room while a bedroom sat empty.

SD has nothing but contempt for DD. Tonight on the phone SD told Dh that she and her mom bought toddler door handle locks for rooms so DD could not come into the bedroom they share. SD also added, "My mom knew you wouldn't get them, so she bought them."

Leaving the house when SD is here

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Submitted by Toastergirl on Mon, 12/05/2016 - 10:56pm

I know there are several folks here that leave for the weekend or overnight when step kids stay. MIL has graciously offered for DD and I to stay with her every other weekend. I am just trying to figure out the logistics of it. Has it been hard on your LO's? What did your DH tell the skids? I'm worried DH will not want me to take DD with me, saying he doesn't want to separate the girls. However I know that he won't fully watch DD while I'm gone (leaving SD to watch her, which I do NOT want).

Just a lot of moving pieces....

SD pantsed a first grader

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Submitted by Toastergirl on Wed, 05/11/2016 - 5:36pm

I'm at a standstill and I want to cry. I really do. I'm so tired of my SD being a bully. I've seen how she's treated other children for years- classmates, neighbor kids, my DD, friends, younger children. I don't know how much I can stomach. We've punished her for rudeness and bullying before. I can't stomach the gossiping, the purposely ignoring other girls because they don't dress as nice, everything. Today before school on the playground she pantsed a first grader. My SD is in forth grade. We get her every other weekend and one weeknight after the weekend we don't get her.

Update- court tomorrow

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Submitted by Toastergirl on Tue, 03/29/2016 - 10:19pm

I have not been on here in a while but would like to give an update.

DH and I totally forgot until his attorney called him today. He actually said "oh sh!t, that's tomorrow?" When the lawyer called. It's been postponed every month since January and every time we were ready GAL wasn't or hexs lawyer wasn't. I have decided to go with DH. The GAL will be there, as will hex and her pond scum attorney.

How to stop being critical to DH

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Submitted by Toastergirl on Thu, 12/10/2015 - 9:11pm

How do I stop? I can't say where it truly began. I don't want to be this wife- the nagging, critical woman. I know it was present for DDs first birthday, when my mother point blank told me, "you could be nicer to your husband". I was taken aback, until I realized a moment later she was right.
I do not like the way I treat my husband. It's like word vomit. Once I start I can't stop. It's not in a mean way. I don't curse or name call. I don't roll my eyes. But it escalates to an all day affair.

I cared for ten minutes tonight

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Submitted by Toastergirl on Tue, 12/08/2015 - 8:37pm

And then I remembered that I have no rights to SD, no control over hex and her decisions, and if DH wants to make a move parenting wise it's up to him. Not me.

I feel like I'm much more self aware now than I was a year ago. I can't change SD. I can't fix her when she's been broken for years. So there's no point in caring. Sometimes I feel like disengagement is a warm blanket. I feel comforted knowing I don't have to care.

How do you recover from a bad weekend?

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Submitted by Toastergirl on Sun, 11/15/2015 - 10:55am

Certain events transpired this weekend with SD here and I have truly reached my "I cant do this" level. I do not hate SD. I do love her but I do not like how she is shaping to become like hex. It is like watching someone you care about be destroyed. Disengagement has been for my emotional well being. For a while now, it has been working. I leave the house or room when hex calls SD. I do not read dh and hexs emails, as their arguing worries me. When DH calls SD at night, I leave the room because hex will be in the same room as SD. I do not participate in pick ups or drop offs.

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