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Losing it-Spring Break Day 1

Toastergirl's picture

Recap: I have a high conflict PAS hex. Hex spent all last week planning events with SD for this week (spring Break). The Court order clearly states it is the fathers year to have the child for spring break on odd years. Hex Had SD last year. Hex built up all the plans she was going to do with SD (buy a cotton candy machine, take her to a water park two hours away), and either:

1. never remembered to check the JCP and simply forgot it wasn't her year before scheduling plans (she's a type A planner) OR
2. told SD all these fun things they could do together and then try and manipulate SD into wanting to stay (DING DING DING).

Anywho, Dh and hex went back and forth Thursday night about how he was picking up SD from school Friday because it was his turn, and she said no, Sd and her already had plans blah blah blah. Court order trumps plans, so she finally relented. SD pouted all last night that she had to be here, and not eating cotton candy with her mom. I told her that her mom should have planned better. Was it bitchy of me? Yes. But I'm over it.

In SD's suitcase that hex packed, lo and behold, there are presents for each day of the week for Spring Break. All wrapped and labeled. SD was ecstatic. Day 1 gift? Stress balls. Because hex has drilled it into SD that our place is stressful. My hex is the same hex who sends "miss you/wish you were here/wish you didn't have to go" cards each day of the week during the summer when its week on/week off. It essentially is her way of inserting herself into our house and reinforcing that our place isn't "home".

I told DH to have SD return all these gifts at her volleyball game today when she sees hex, or I will put them in the closet and put them in her suitcase next Monday when Dh drops her off at school. She chose to give them to her mom. She didn't (of course) and DH did not enforce it (of course). So, essentially, F me.

Today was also tear out/demolition day of our master bathroom that we are remodeling. DH is driving me crazy. He kept pulling the contractor aside and bragging about how he can add this and that to make how HE wants. I told Dh no, I'm the one paying and this master bathroom remodel was my idea that he already approved of week ago. Please don't add any "extras" we don't need. He ignores me. Tonight the contractor sent me a new quote ($400 more). I told DH NO and then emailed the contractor back apologizing. It's just so frustrating that I'm looking like the flake when DH did all of this.

Also-I rented a dumpster for this. DH kept talking about trying to save the toilet to donate "when he gets around to it". Soooo it would sit in our yard until the time comes? HELL NO. Then he tried to save these metal shelf poles and plans on going dumpster diving tonight (HELL NO).

Day 1, ya'll. Day 1.

Comments

Toastergirl's picture

YUP

Toastergirl's picture

That's pretty much where I'm at, LadyFace. I think too many people buy into this notion that you can take the high road as a stepparent and one day when the stepkid is an adult they will "see the truth". NOPE. That's not how life works. There are so many adults who would rather live in ignorance regarding their parents (duh, bc it's their parents!) or continue to believe/do their parents bidding even as grown adults. I don't want a first place ribbon, or a second ribbon or even an honorable mention. I just want to be me and live my life without Dr. Evil and her wicked ways.

Maxwell09's picture

In all honesty I would have been petty and convince SD to open all of the trinkets BM sent for the week on the first day. It's the best way to stop prolonging it for a whole week. I also check the mail here so I wouldn't be passing along any cards until the end of the week. Tuck those babies in that suitcase for SD to discover once she's unpacking back at BMs. I think it's a bit dramatic to say you PAS the girl by saying her mom should have planned better. Anyone who's done their research on Parent Alienation knows that's not the definition. You made a comment, truthful and petty-sure, but not PAS. Now manipulating a child to think they would have a grand ole time with mommy knowing they'll be away from spring break, encouraging a child to think she has a choice in seeing her father and that his home is minuscule in comparison IS PAS.

Toastergirl's picture

I said what I said. I'll agree it wasn't nice, but considered everything hex has said and done...I'm just over biting my tongue.

Acratopotes's picture

arg - simply tell the contractor - this is how it is, there will be no alterations... I'm paying thus it's my way..

never send gifts back to BM... somehow they learn to walk in your house and they run away, never to be found again, you only trash it once the coast is clear

now for that toilet to be saved - here's a couple of weird nice ideas like toilet planters...