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Dr. Evil sends SD letters and packages

Toastergirl's picture

DH sent Dr.Evil an email about a month ago saying he does not want Sd to bring her iPhone here. Hex could tell we had gone through it, and agreed to leave it at her house. She implored DH establish a landline in SDs room instead (LOL). Per the JCP, each parent is allowed a phone call when in the other parents care with SD. Okay. No sweat. I usually leave the house when Dr. Evil calls and go for my evening walk or trim the plants/do whatever outside so I don't hear her PAS bullshit.

Hex and her mother have taken to sending SD cards now (as it is week/week off in the summer). It was kind of "oh that's nice!" At first, but the cards have increased to every day. As in, both Dr. Evil, her mother and us reside in the same town but they insist on sending her letters every freaking day as if she were in prison or boot camp. I don't know exCtly why It grates my nerves- SD will exclaim, "oh hey a card from mom!" Loudly, open it, aw over the message and stickers inside, then shove it in a drawer somewhere. I don't know why it annoys me to open my mailbox every afternoon and see hex's name in a return address or Hexs mom but it does. Up the freaking wall. It has now progressed as well to small packages, as if SD is far away at Girl Scout camp instead of oh her fathers where she has been going for her entire life.

How the hell do I get over this? This is yet another way of inserting herself into DHs visitation. I'm contemplating just putting all of them into a big ziplock bag throughout the week and shove it in SDs suitcase before she goes back to her moms, but I know hex will use that against us. I Know I'm in the wrong here for being annoyed by it....I just feel like I try so hard to remove myself from being in her vicinity and she constantly crashes into mine.

Comments

oneoffour's picture

Well first of all she has to buy the cards and stickers and now packages. Then she has to get stamps. And then she has to mail them. Quite a lot of work really.

ITW... Ignore The Whore. Is SD sending cards back every day? No. So make sure ALL the cards and ALL the envelopes and ALL the packages go back with her in the aforesaid Ziplock bag.

Eventually either SD will lose interest or the Post Office will run out of stamps. Hey, maybe it is her personal quest to ensure her local Post Office remains open Sad
And if BM and GM feel the need to send useless shit then let them carry on. Sd will get bored after a while and the gifts will remain unopened.

MamaDuck's picture

Oh my. (((Hugs))) I'm having an anxiety attack just over the THOUGHT of our BM doing this, because.. she totally reads from the same cray cray BM manual that the rest of these nutters live by.

I don't have any advice, well advice that wouldn't get you in trouble, like a guess a bon fire isn't really advisable. But I feel for you, it certainly is a bitchy tactic of BM to insert herself in front of your face.

Monchichi's picture

So she needs to call, post a card and send parcels? Her mother also needs to post a card and send parcels?

Why do you think it's wrong for you to find this an excessive intrusion in your life? I think it's so off the charts it's not even funny. It's one week on and one week off. It's not a month. Even if it was a month who needs more than a call every 2-3 days?

Goodness a BM and exMIL who is in your face 24/7. I agree with Internal. It's not alright and I would box it in something cute or a gift bag and say it all arrived on the last day.

notsurehowtodeal's picture

Maybe you don't check your mail everyday. Maybe the each letter didn't arrive on a separate day. There are lots of reasons that you would give her all of the letters on the last day she is with you.

They are a clear intrusion on SD's time with her Dad. Every time she reads a letter or opens a package all of her attention is on BM. The whole idea is ridiculous!

SM12's picture

When my SD26 was young and still lived with her BM, I used to send her a lot of packages and things but only on holidays. BM up and left taking SD out of state without our permission. SO to get back at BM for doing this I would sent he messiest crap I could find.
I would get a big box, fill it full of things like sidewalk chalk, the stuff you paint the walls with in the tub, glitter art, noisy toys and games, All the things that parents dread. THen I would pack it all up and load the box with so many of those packing peanuts I could barely close it. And yes, I would crunch up the packing peanuts into tiny pieces so they were even worse. THen when SD would open it, the package would practially explode with styrofoam bits all over BM's house. I got the biggest kick out of doing that. SD once told me that her mom would get really mad everytime I would send a package because it would take forever cleaning up the mess.
Next time SD is with her mom, send her a little package in the mail of something horrifically messy. Maybe that will get BM to see you will fight back and yes, fight dirty.

Yep...its the little things.

couldyounot's picture

That is subliminally alienating behavior on BM's part. It's the same as if she referred to her house as "home" and Dad's as "visiting" or something. Our BM actually had SS telling people "My mom's house is my real home, my dad's is like I'm at camp" when he was younger. This is the exact sentiment of some of these women feel, and what I see echoed in this being done in your situation.

Not to mention, how annoying. It is invasive and inappropriate. I would most likely throw them in the trash. It's your home, too? Sorry but no, my DH's ex-wife and ex-MIL would not be mailing shit to MY house, they are doing it to irritate YOU. To take the fun out of it for BM, mention nothing about receiving these things in the mail during DH's time, bag them all up together, and DH can give SD the bag as she is getting out of his car if he's dropping her off, or as she is walking out the door if BM is picking her up.

SM12's picture

It clearly works like a charm considering my SD told me how how pissed BM got about it several years after the fact.
Sally I love the eatable glitter idea. I would have send that in a gallon jug had I known about that stuff.
Im thinking that just MAYBE I may need to send my SS8 with some of that stuff this weekend. Oh my weekend just got a little brighter!

I will have to put it in a baggie that just MAY happen to have a hole in the bottom of it. Oh yea....this shit just got real!

SM12's picture

My brother is 3 years older than me. His oldest is about 1 1/2 years older than my BS. When My nephew was a tot I used to buy him all the really noisy toys that drove my brother crazy....THEN I had BS. Yep, my brother had NO PROBLEM returning that favor. We finally had to call a truce...hahahaha.

I am going to google homemade playdo and send it home with SS8 also. SS8 is the best one of the bunch so its not because he is bad. He listens to me very well and helps when asked. He is not always great around his dad but that's DH's fault. I just want to make sure BM's life if full of glitter and sunshine like she makes ours!! Yep...Its go time!!!!

SM12's picture

Thanks Sally!!! This is gonna be a great weekend for SS8!!!
And for SM12!!!
I think I will wait until Sunday late afternoon to do this so its done just in time for him to go home!