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What happened?

Shorti90's picture

I know my SD pretty well, I have treated her as my own and have been a primary caregiver to her for a while now. I know that as a parent my DH and I set the boudries and it's our responsibility to guide her and teach her.  She used to confide in me and talk to me. We used to be able to have fun without her fighting with me over every little detail. She doesn't talk to me or DH. She's constantly angry she sees a therapist 4 days a week and takes Aderall.for her ADHD. I try to help her and she pushes me away. I have been backing off more and more now.

So she hates me.

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My SD today told me she hates us.  her dad and I walked in on her stealing from our wallets then tried to lie to us about it. We asked her what's going on and she said it's cause she hated us. She asked if she can go live with her Bio mom. Her Bio mom is currently in jail because of drug use. My DH told her she can't till her "problems are sorted" My SD ran to her room and is sobbing and screaming. I feel for her my heart is saddened but I don't know how to help her. My DH doesn't know what to do. He and SD bio mom were not married and neither want to go to court. 

How much is too much.

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So I have a question for all you Step-Parents out there. 

    How much is too much for gift giving on holidays and birthdays?

Personally I set a certain amout for our kids then a certain amount for the other people in our lives. But I want to know how other people handle shopping for holidays for thier stepkids. 

On another note how do some of you handle entitled or greedy behavior around the holidays as well? No wrong answers I'm just curious.

Tired.

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So. My birthday is tomorow. And like she has been doing all week my SD will point out that my birthday is not as important than hers, because " she's ( I'm) a child and she deserves more attention than anyone in the house because she's got left by her BM. I'm tired. I'm tired of sacrificing and getting treated like shit because I'm not douchebag BM. Who  after abandoning SD without contact for 2.5 years after being abusive, still won't take responsibility. I'm tired. 

Most of the time.

Shorti90's picture

This is not a rant I am not looking for advice. I am just rambling some things I need to get out. 

Most of the time I feel like a terrible parent. 

I seem to get all the attitude and blame, I try my best everyday and get scorn and dislike because I enforce rules that were set up with my SD knowlege and consent. 

Lying Step kid.

Shorti90's picture

So my SD is 7 and she has a habit of over exagerating and outright lying for attention. She has gotten authorities involved twice in 3 years because of her lying. And she doesn't show any remorse when it happens. As long as she gets the attention she wants she is fine with doing whatever gets her that. 

I'm a first time poster.

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I am a first time poster on here so here it goes. 

     I have been in the role of Step parenting for about 3 years now it started before I even officially married my DH. 

I indeed love my step child but she is very demanding of our time and attention and we have a 6 month old as well. 

I've been having a hard time balancing between being a mom and wife. Any advice?