My SD is 17 and I’ve been in her life since before she was 2. We have 3 other children. Even though we pay BM a lot of child support, I’ve always been worried that when the kids open their gifts Xmas morning that SD would be upset if she had less. I’ve just got in the habit of spending the same on all of the kids even though SD hasn’t been with us Xmas morning for many years now. We’ve also been dealing with parental alienation so haven’t seen a lot of her in nearly 2 years.

SD is spoilt, and often turn her nose up at what we get her and I’m sure thinks she gets less. This year she asked for cash which I’m not happy about. So I’ve given the younger kids a small budget to each buy her a present, and we will top up with a voucher. At the end of the day it’s the thought that counts.

I don't spend a dime on skid and since we pay a good amount of child support that more than covers skid's expenses I set a limit on what dh spends on him too. I only spend on our own two kids. Skid is so spoiled he doesn't appreciate anything anyway.

I don't buy much really.. I also tend to buy to the lowest common denominator in the family.. so for example.. I have two SD's.. one has a child.. one doesn't.  I buy a gift for the SD without a child.. but the SD that is married gets a gift for her son.

I buy small gifts for my inlaws and my dad.. and my DH.  That's it.  

I find that buying presents for others just creates an obligation for other people that can be a burden.. so I don't do it.

My skids are young (4 and 7) and we have them for alternating Christmases.  DH and I go out of state to my family's vacation home for Christmas, so in years when we have the skids, we generally have them for the full Christmas week, and in years when BM has them, we don't see them at all for Christmas week.  The way things have evolved, the parent who has the kids for Christmas provides all the Santa presents.  Last year we had the kids, and between my family, DH and I, and Santa, we probably spent $400+ on each skid.  We don't have a strict budget; we buy what we think they'll like while not spending ourselves into the poorhouse.  They got additional presents from DH's parents, BM and her husband, and BM's family.  (Generally speaking, stuff they get from us stays at our house, and stuff they get from BM stays at her house).  This year, BM has the kids for Christmas, so we celebrated St. Nick's Day (we're in an area where that's a thing) last week and spent less than $100 on each skid for small presents and stocking candy.  The skids are starting to get a bit greedy (I heard a "that's it?"  when they were opening gifts this year); I think we'll be addressing that next year when we have them for the holiday.  Our bio is a newborn, so she won't be getting much of anything this year.  She's the only grandchild of my wealthy parents, though, so I doubt she'll be wanting for gifts in years to come.
 

DH buys a gift for his son, I stay out of it.  

For a few years (before I combined finances with my husband) I would match what I spent on Christmas gifts and donate that money to the Red Cross. That way I would temper what I spent on gifts as there was only so much that I could afford and give to a good cause at the same time. None of my family need gifts, we are all fortunate to be able to afford what we need and gifts are added extras. There is no need to go overboard as long as some thought goes into the gifts. 

I used to have a rough dollar amount to spend on people too. It would be slightly more for birthdays (as you are typically only buying for one person at a time) at Christmas I would assess my finances and see what I could afford and set the budget that way. Typically amounts would be more for adults than kids (kids, especially young ones are just as happy with a $5 gift as a $50 gift if chosen right).

For my step daughter I may pick up a couple of smaller items when I see them that I think she will like. My husband gets the bulk of the items for her. We do not have a set budget for her gifts but I trust him not to be ridiculous and luckily there is only one kid which makes things a lot easier. 

They all get the same number, but SDs gifts tend to be more needs and less for dollar amount than the kids with us fulltime. Partially because she gets so much more total and partially because she sticks her nose up at anything from us and wont touch it anyway so what's the point.

As far as the greed - my SD is weird in that shes kind of whatever and tosses aside gifts that are actually given to her, and only wants to take from everyone else. So basically I just try to not let her take the other kids' (mainly ODS) stuff.