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I'm done!

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Ok, I am at a loss as to what to do anymore. DH and I have tried everything we can think of to get SD14 to understand that she needs to be turning in her work at school and now she has 6 zeros! I think I am just going to stop caring about how she is getting along in school and just leave it alone. It is a battle that I am obviously losing, it causes more stress than I care to add to my life, and DH is not backing me up the I think he should. He is tired having to get on to SD14. He says all we have done lately is get on to her for one thing or another.

So annoyed...

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All I can say is...GRRRRR!! My SD annoys the shit out of me!!! She is in trouble at school, again, for hitting a kid because he wouldn't leave her alone. Really? Hitting him was absolutely necessary? WTH! She has detention for it tomorrow after school. I am just finding all of this out, but apparently DH knew about it the day it happened, over a week ago. He is really acting like it is no big deal, but this is not the first time she has physically acted out at someone. I am so sick of DH enabling her to act the way she does.

I should really count my blessings

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I just need to put this out there...for all the complaining and venting that I do, I need to remind myself that I am blessed. Yes, my SD has a huge amount of problems besides being a 14 year old girl dealing with hormones and high school drama, but she also does great things for me and her brother and sister. I need to learn to give her credit where credit is due. I don't think I do it enough. Just wanted to put that out there because I have seen some posts on here that made my skin crawl and I just wanted to reach out to the poster and hug them and make everything better.

So close to not giving a damn anymore...

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We now have another zero to add to the list and more "I don't give a F**K!" attitude from SD14. DH and I have talked about it and are both concerned about SD's attitude concerning everything lately. She doesn't seem to care that she is in trouble for anything and she is already disregarding her grounding. DH and I talked about taking away all of her priveleges and making her earn them back one by one. Not giving her a time limit (you are losing your computer for a week) but setting expectation goals for her to meet and maintain in order to get the priveleges back.

Made a bit of progress today...I think

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I went to a counseling session with SD14 today. She was very upset at first because I told her I was going to talk with the therapist about what has been going on in the past week with her getting back with Mr. Dangerous and lying to us about it. She decided to sit out in the waiting room while the therapist and I talked. I guess she didn't want to hear it get rehashed all over again...I don't blame her for that.

At my wits end...

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I am so frustrated with SD14! If you have read my other posts, you know that we have been having trouble with her lying to us and sneaking around behind our backs with a very dangerous boy that has threatened to kill her before. We took control of the situation (at least that is what we think) and she is now grounded from any social activities for a month, has lost all of her allowance and babysitting money for a month, and has given all of her internet logins and passwords to us (that we know of).

Ultimatum Update

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I gave her plenty of chances to tell her father about what has been going on and she never did it. I couldn't take it anymore and told him myself. He was completely on board with me and totally agreed with me. He confronted her about it at dinner. He told her that she had better not ever say a word about me hating her again and that she should be thankful to me for trying to help her and for caring about her enough to make sure that she stays safe.

The ultimatum

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So, I talked to my SD14 when she got home from school and told her that she has an option. Either she can come clean with her father on her own or I will do it for her. I'm trying to get her to take responsibility for her actions. She is not speaking to me now, and I'm sure she HATES me. Typical teenage reaction to not getting their way. She doesn't want to be like BM, but she acts just like her all the time. I'm trying to get her to learn the difference between the way BM acts and the way she wants to be.

More lying!!!

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So, yesterday I found out that my SD14 has been seeing a boy that she is not allowed to be around because he got her arrested back in October. He threatened to stab her and kill her friend, we found out, turned him in to the cops, he countered saying that my SD14 threatened him, too, so they arrested her as well. She was told be both me, he father, and her therapist to stay away from this boy because he is nothing but trouble. I just found out that they have been talking since the first of the year, and dating for over a month.

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