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Feeling a silent shame inside

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My friends and colleagues have plenty of bragging rights about their adult children.  "My daughter just got a promotion!"  "My son got a full ride to______ for engineering!"  "My kid just finished his Eagle Scout by building a housing development for the homeless out of recycled waterbottles!"  You get the picture.  I can't say any of those things.  SS is 2 yrs out of high school and has no direction, no motivation, no ambitions.  My bragging rights include "SS woke up before noon today"  "SS managed to make it through a week of work without quitting."  I feel shamed by it all.  I value edu

Stepdads out there?

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I am relatively new here and I get the sense that there are many stepmoms here with their unique problems bealing with DHs, skids and BMs.  As a reluctant stepdad with a 19y/o SS living under my roof, I was wondering if there were any other stepdads here and how they deal with DW, Biological fathers, financial strain, discipline, etc?  I am in no way trying to be sexist.  I was looking for a male perspective for my situation.

 

Thanks

Work ethic = none

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So SS19 started his PT job and worked three 5-11pm shifts at convenience store.  Yesterday I came home from my job and he was brooding on the couch (phone in hand) claiming he was tired.  When asked what was wrong he said "I feel like all I do is sleep and work."  Well, apart from 8 hours on his phone, I guess he's right! LOL!  Mind you his mother and I both work 2 jobs as well as maintain a household.  I lost it!  I said "What the eff do you think being an adult is???

Times are a changin'

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I got some good advice on another thread about SS19 and kids his age.  It was, and continues to be, frustrating when I see him on the phone all the time and not appearing engaged.  I have to adjust my way of thinking that this is the way kids do things now and there's no putting the genie back in the bottle.  Also, I was putting DW and SS in no-win positions because I resented having another adult in the house whom I had to support.

Skids and dating

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Does anyone else here have a situation like this?  SS19 seems to have zero interest in dating or relationships.  I may be old, but when I was 19 all I could think about was girls.  I wouldn't care if SS was straight or gay... it just seems odd that he would rather be phone surfing than developing relationships (physical/emotional).

New and trying to cope

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Hi everyone.  Brand new here so bear with me if I make some mistakes on the abbrvriations.  I have been married 51 weeks.  First aniversary is next weekend.  DW has two kids from previous marriage.  I never had kids and spent my entire adult life either alone or living with one other person (my ex-)  Anyway, SS (19yrs old almost 20) was living out of state and couldn't get his crap together with a job and living arrangements after months of telling us how things were "working out"   Long story short, about a week before Christmas, SS needs to move back home (after spending all his savings).