You are here

Work ethic = none

Physics guy's picture

So SS19 started his PT job and worked three 5-11pm shifts at convenience store.  Yesterday I came home from my job and he was brooding on the couch (phone in hand) claiming he was tired.  When asked what was wrong he said "I feel like all I do is sleep and work."  Well, apart from 8 hours on his phone, I guess he's right! LOL!  Mind you his mother and I both work 2 jobs as well as maintain a household.  I lost it!  I said "What the eff do you think being an adult is??? We work, pay the bills, sleep, repeat."  Needless to say, I was livid.  A 19 y/o should not be tired from working a few shits at the register.  I pulled the plug on the wifi and now am limiting usage.  This behavior is unacceptable to me.


Sorry for the venting.


beebeel's picture

No need to apologize for the vent, that is the point of this place!

My SS18 is also super bummed that he hasn't been paid in a month because he quit his old job, took a "break" and started a new one. Again. I told him, "Yeah. You don't get paid if you don't work. Welcome to adulthood." Magically he is home for dinner every night this week, whereas he would normally be who-knows-where eating buckets of fast food. 

ESMOD's picture

I get it.. It's a bit amusing to see someone moan about a 6 hour shift job. 

BUT... honestly, I don't think that it was right to punish him for complaining about it.  I remember when I started working as a cashier in college.  I had definitely had jobs prior to that.. paper route, office work after school, bagging groceries and in restaurants.  In fact my Junior year I had 3 jobs plus was on varsity cheer and still maintained a decent GPA.  But, that cashier job?  I felt like I had been run over by a truck.  Something about standing up constantly for 6 hours straight on a concrete floor.  And.. also in his defense, that shift is hard because you miss out on social stuff too.

So, while I'm not saying that a "suck it up buttercup" reminder that "adulting is hard.. get used to it" isn't warranted, but dang.. the kid is actually doing "something" it's a start right? I would be encouraging him not punishing him.

lieutenant_dad's picture

Have to agree. I would have been more snarky than hard ass. Being a hard ads, while he can continue to live under your roof, is only going to make him hate working MORE and push him to quit.

I think a better approach in the future would be to laugh and say, "yeah, welcome to adulthood; but if you want things to be easier, you have to work harder now while you have the energy; come on, let's grab beer."

I'm not saying there isn't a time and place to be a hard ass, but right out the gate isn't the best approach.

ETA - this is the place the come and express you're "God, what a lazy twit" feelings. You're not wrong for thinking/feeling that way, but expressing it to him likely won't have the desired effect. Just like any other relationship you have your feelings and actions can't always be the same.

Physics guy's picture

I wasn't trying to punish him by taking away wifi.  He seems addicted to the point of not being productive.  I look at it like this.  If my SS had a heroin problem, I wouldn't bring opiods home.  Gaming/internet is like an addiction.  If he was actively involved in social activities I'd have a different opinion.   I will turn on wifi, but for limited time periods.  I get what you're saying, but I think the wifi/internet is the reason behind his lack of any motivation.

beebeel's picture

This kid boomeranged back home after failing at his first launch, correct? Is he in college?

Physics guy's picture

Yep, moved out of state, drained his savings, got evicted and it living with us (his mom and myself).  Not what I ever bargained for.  Not in college or trade school and I can't get a read on what he wants to do with his life.  Very frustrating!

beebeel's picture

Right. The time for encouragement and kid gloves is long past, imho. He needs to get a real job (40+ hours a week) or another job if he isn't in school. Life at mommy's house should be uncomfortable so that he's "encouraged" to GTFO. That means no free WiFi, pay your bills and quit yer bitchin!

Iamwoman's picture

Quote from The Breakfast Club:“Well everyone’s home life is unsatisfying. If it wasn’t, people would live with their parents forever.” — Andy

It was stated in a movie in the 80's and now it has come true!! These young adults' home lives are too satisfying. They definitely need to be made to feel very uncomfortable in their parents' home if they are to ever desire to leave.

Physic's Guy - you did the right thing.

I've turned off the wi-fi on my own DD15 several times. My house. My perogative. I make the rules. Don't like it? Get a job and get your own place where you can make your own rules. Period. End of Story.

Your SS is obviously alive and healthy and educated, so your and your wife's duties have ended. Anything, including a place to live, at this point is a gift and should be treated as such by SS.

ESMOD's picture

I'm sorry, I had read it that you cut off wifi because you didn't like hearing him complain about working "so hard". If the throttling was for other reasons.. fine.

notasm3's picture

Oh please. What a candya$$. 

When I started my first 8-5 job I had trouble going to sleep because I was NOT tired. That was a piece of cake after taking 21 hours of tough subjects and working 20 hours a week. And having a full social life.  And I was 20 so only a year older than the skid. 

Why coddle the lazy thing. 

thinkthrice's picture

since age 12....Zero sympathy for 19 yr old bum

Physics guy's picture

Me too

SayNoSkidsChitChat's picture

I was babysitting kids starting at age 12; even three siblings. I’m an only child.

SayNoSkidsChitChat's picture

I would probably feel rested working at such a job for such short shifts. I’m old compared to your sissy SS too. My family runs me ragged and drain my energy with badgering, nagging, whining, interrupting etc. Some of that is my husband.

 What a pathetic manbaby. I’m certain if my disgusting stepbrat ever gets a job it’ll be the same sniveling like a five year old ffs.

justmakingthebest's picture

My SS18 talks about how hard he works too. I give him slack, he is autistic and work and "people-ing" is hard for him emotionally. My SS18 will never live on his own.

Every once in a while I do snap though- I like to remind him that when his dad was his age he was in the Navy working 18 hr days regularly and had a baby (him!) on the way. When I was his age I worked one full time job, one weekend part time job and was going to school full time at night. I also owned my own house when I was 19. Working is what you do as an adult. It is hard. It sucks sometimes. 

SS's 3 days a week as a dishwasher for IHOP isn't real work punkin' - it is cute he thinks it is though! LOL

futurobrillante99's picture

I find that boredom (having no blue screens for a distraction) can clarify for an individual just how much FREE TIME they really have - because it drags on forever. LOL

Having your nose stuck in electronics can devour time, making it seem like there isn't much.

Physics guy's picture

Absolutely!  I told him that there are about 500 books around the house ranging from cooking to travel to literature, math....etc.  When the data is used up and boredom sets in maybe he'll read.  

thinkthrice's picture

His MAC address on the router. Hopefully he doesn't have unlimited data

thinkthrice's picture

Me of SD when she was 19 last year and complaining by posting the cat dragging itself down the stairs video about her 3-hour a week job