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LoftyDreams's Blog

July 27

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My car is at the dealer. If it wasn't I would have left by now. I thought about getting up early in the morning, but it's a 3 hour walk. I started to ride a bike after my husband left for work. But there isn't enough air in the tires making it too difficult for me to ride 10 miles.

I called 3 taxi services and no one is 'in the area' at the moment. Maybe after lunch they said.

Yesterday, we had a blowout that shouldn't have been.

May 27

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I went for a 3.2 mile walk this morning and it was relaxing.

I still think about leaving even if my husband doesn't have a job.

I envision taking the money from the sale of this house and buying a 2/1 1000 sq ft home on 2-5 acres away from a metro area. I can have my garden and an area to play for our daughter. When I clean it stays clean. No one complaining to me, only me complaining to myself.

May 26

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My husband has been out of work for about 2 weeks due to an injury. He has an appointment in about 2 weeks so he will be out at least a little while longer. The initial talk included possible surgery and/or burning nerves, but the area is too inflamed for a scan to show anything useful. They told him to use it as much as he can without aggravating the injury. After that I believe they are supposedly returning to the office.

May 13

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Of course I have started washing dishes again.

This morning, after a skillet with food had been left out for two days, my husband complains that 'I don't wash large pans". Nevermind that I have washed everything but the little plates his son uses. He tells me he didn't ask for the food I cooked, even though he ate it more than once and gave it to his son. He said he shouldn't have to put the food away because it isn't something he asked for. He can give me a list of food he would like. . .

Friday Before Mother's Day

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It feels nice to vent or see that other people have similar beliefs and what I am experiencing shouldn't be or isn't normal.

I regret staying in this relationship, if nothing other than for the fact that, I have spent so much time caring about something I can do little about. I have spent so much time trying to normalize unacceptable behaviors.