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my dh has had enough drama...it's just not worth it

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Submitted by lmdavi0 on Mon, 05/21/2007 - 1:09pm

my dh told me yesterday that he's not going to see sd10 anymore. we do have joint custody but every time we see sd, it is DRAMA. whether it's her twisting all of our fun and love into something vindictive and negative to bb or bb turning our wonderful weekend into hell on earth. and after only one year of regular visitation, we are calling it quits. it's not that it's not worth it, but now bb has sd involved. having her call dh names and saying she doesn't want to see him and bb screaming and yelling in front of sd.

child support modification question...in ky

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Submitted by lmdavi0 on Tue, 05/15/2007 - 2:33pm

if we just had a review a few months ago, can bb get another one or do you have to wait three years? dh just got a job with the post office and it's not that we don't want to give more support to sd...it's the fact that bb doesn't spend any on sd (at least not in clothes or other necessities!). so once bb finds out about dh's awesome job, can she ask for another modification?
thanks!

can i bitch about my selfish dh for a moment?

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Submitted by lmdavi0 on Fri, 05/11/2007 - 9:17am

this has nothing really to do with sd10 because we haven't seen her in almost a month, but i didn't really have another place to vent about how selfish and DUMB my dh can be sometimes. we don't have kids (sd every other weekend) and lately he's been on this 'new friend' kick with some of his server buddies. that's great, except whenever he goes out with them, he is totally irresponsible, not calling and not checking his phone.

passive or aggressive, that is the question

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Submitted by lmdavi0 on Wed, 05/09/2007 - 9:35am

so last week's drama and sd10's call to dh claiming she doesn't want to see him again has led us to ponder 'should we fill out another affadavit' or 'should we just go with the flow?' bb violated the court-ordered visitation plan by not meeting dh last friday, after the phone conversation and supposed 'make-up' call between bb and dh. poor dh has been really trying to take the high road for sd's sake but dealing with a habitual liar is never easy, especially one who has control over your child. so now, what do we do? do we go back and see if the court will finally hold her in contempt?

should we punish sd? tell her the truth?

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Submitted by lmdavi0 on Fri, 05/04/2007 - 9:56am

we have never bad-mouthed bb in front of sd10, but with all this drama lately and the lies and having sd say she doesn't want to see dh...it makes me want to retaliate! and i KNOW i can't but what should we do? should sd be grounded this weekend when she comes to see us? should she be told some of the lies her mom has said? what is fair game and what is not?! it's not fair that bb trash-talks dh all the time and screams in front of sd about what a liar he is (when she is the one lying!!!!). doesn't sd deserve to hear the truth? and if not now, when??

what is bb's motivation? and what will make her stop?!

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Submitted by lmdavi0 on Thu, 05/03/2007 - 12:10pm

seriously. why is bb so hell-bent on causing ripples? they have been over for nearly 10 years and still, she can't just let things be. she has to constantly bring up past shit and she harps on absolutely every detail she can squeeze from sd after our weekend visits. from 'causing sd to have a complex because we asked her to take care of her belongings' to being mean to because we said she might need braces! i mean, really. and you know what else she bitched about, ladies? the fact that i told sd to wipe from front to back!!!! seriously.

as the world turns

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Submitted by lmdavi0 on Tue, 05/01/2007 - 2:30pm

so after going to court AGAIN to set up court-ordered telephone times for dh and sd10, he still doesn't get to talk to her! i told dh to go back to court but he is just so fed up with all of it. but what did he expect? that bb was just going to turn over a new leaf and try to do what is right for her daughter, and not what is soooo fun for her? hardly. she loves control, as i told dh, and this is just another way to get 'back' at him for leaving her and causing her to make such a miserable, white trash life for herself. geeesh!

what is our role as sm??

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Submitted by lmdavi0 on Tue, 04/17/2007 - 3:28pm

i read a very interesting article on steptogether.com about 'disengaging' and now i'm a little confused. my 10-year-old sd doesn't treat me with disrespect but i also do most of the parenting at home. it wasn't always like this but now that we get sd every other weekend, i have taken on more of the mothering role (imagine that). i don't have any kids with dh yet but we're trying (unsuccessfully due to all this crazy bm drama). i know i need to step back and allow dh time to bond and parent, but at the same time, i feel bad.

eight years and counting

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Submitted by lmdavi0 on Mon, 04/16/2007 - 2:03pm

i have been with dh for eight years now and i am the proud sm of 10-year-old cassie. her mother is crazy and until last year, did everything in her power to keep us out of cassie's life. we got joint custody last june and since then have maintained regular visitation. her mother has tried still to keep us away, but thankfully we have an intelligent judge overseeing our case. she has accused my dh of domestic abuse (which was dismissed), she filed a temp. epo so dh couldn't get his daughter (also dismissed and we were awarded an extra weekend).

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