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what is bb's motivation? and what will make her stop?!

lmdavi0's picture

seriously. why is bb so hell-bent on causing ripples? they have been over for nearly 10 years and still, she can't just let things be. she has to constantly bring up past shit and she harps on absolutely every detail she can squeeze from sd after our weekend visits. from 'causing sd to have a complex because we asked her to take care of her belongings' to being mean to because we said she might need braces! i mean, really. and you know what else she bitched about, ladies? the fact that i told sd to wipe from front to back!!!! seriously. i guess that is just horrible and i must have been trying to undermine her in some way, or cause her harm...what is wrong with this lady? dh and i have talked a lot about taking the higher road, in order to advocate for sd. dh needs to be able to call bb and talk to her about sd. and last night, after SEVERAL attempts to talk to sd, he finally did. and what did sd say? that dh was a liar, that he didn't call her. it pissed dh off like nothing else, then to hear bb in the background egging sd on! who does that??!!! so afterwards, imagine that, dh speaks with bb and all hell breaks loose, again. then an hour later, after much praying and forgiving on my part, she calls back and says she wants to have a real talk, that she is serious. so i listen here and there (it's hard to detach myself because i really love my sd and i worry dh is a pushover to avoid conflict) and things sound pretty good, considering she is a crazy see-you-next-tuesday. i was impressed with dh and all that he was saying, about picking parenting battles, babying her, etc., but sprinkled throughout was her craziness, her need for control, her jealousy/hatred of me, the PAST, which dh told her if this is how these conversations are going to go, i don't want any. she is stuck in the past and i just don't know what it is going to take to make her snap out of it. to fight in front of your daughter, then have her say mean hateful things to her father, WHY!? and poor dh, he is so upset about this that he wants to walk away. and of course, we can't, and i told him we can't. we have to make sure we are there, especially because her mom is a nut job, you know? if we gave up now, who would we be? not the loving parents we are when we are with her. she loves us, regardless of what bb makes her say, which by the way, she says that sd will go to court in three years and denouce dh as a father... real nice. so i guess she is just a woman scorned...and until she can find someone to put up with her white trash, fat ass, nothing will ever change. but i refuse to believe that too. i pray for her, and i pray for sd, and i pray for us.