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MIL moving out after she broke up - SS holidays compromised

Caroline2b1211's picture

I just need to vent.

Tonight it's about MIL. She called DH to tell him she has broken up with her partner. They were together since 15 years but moved in 3 years ago. They were not married.
Before, she was living at her mother (DH grand mother) but the house has been sold since to pay for grand mother retirement home. 
 

She is now a 60 yo woman, with no stable job (only "black" little job has a cleaning lady), no money (everything she ever has went direclty to SIL and SS) and no roof. 

No great news from the lawyer appointment

Caroline2b1211's picture

DH had an appointment with his attorney about SS situation and possible actions to take.

And the result is not great at all for DH. Long story short, DH explained all the situation (conflict with BM, MIL, SS who chooses when he comes etc..).

From the lawyer perspective, DH is in a bad position. Here are his options if he goes to court : 

- DH will never have full custody, SS is too old and judges won't see it as a benefit for him (new school, new friend, not seeing mom, conflict with MIL etc..)

I’m done helping SS with school education

Caroline2b1211's picture

 

Last time SS went home, he had a tons of homeworks to do. Of course he didn’t do anything on his week at MIL and he had everything to do. 

The most difficult was an essay about an historic character. Plus BM called DH x times during the week to put pressure on homeworks (as if he never does his when he is home… which is totally false). 

 

SS has many school difficulties, and things go everytime worse. 

I don’t want our family life suspended to SS every wants & needs

Caroline2b1211's picture

Since the day BM decided that SS is old and mature enough to take his own decisions i'm worried about the future.

As BM didn't reply last DH message yet, and because DH doesn't have any plans except seeing a lawyer next week, i'm wondering. 
I'm thinking about the worst situation : BM keeps sending SS when HE wants. Because i'm not sure she will cut ties with DH, just because of how jealous she is, and how funny it will be for her to send SS when she knows we don't have options. Just to say DH how a bad parent he is. 

It wasn’t about the phone

Caroline2b1211's picture

So after a great analysis of the situation, i helped DH to come with a solution about SS holidays. 
DH called BM to tell he agrees for the phone during july (whitout explaning the plan to block MIL).  
BM said it was great, and that she will tell SS tonight. 

DH had SS on the phone, and SS talked about the fact that BM asked how much time he wanted to spend with us this summer, and that he wants to come one week. DH didn't answer to that. 

Wasn’t ST a safe place for step parent ?

Caroline2b1211's picture

Wow, 

I must write in my blog that one. 
First, please excuse my bad english. I'm absolutely not fluent, it's not my native language. So if you see sarcasms in my post, or in my answers, it's barely impossible (LOL). 

Second, the objective of our blogs are to vent right ? 

Because i made one post earlier, and i had the impression to be drastically judged without knowing my history. 

Fresh BM calls about summer and SS phone

Caroline2b1211's picture

SS is supposed to spend the month of july with us. 
However, BM calls this morning saying DH that one month without phone is impossible for SS.

DH explained that he can call her whenever he wants, calls his friends with our phone, calls family etc... and that a phone at 10 is non vital. He tells the rule in our house is : no phone, point ! 
 

Please need help - MIL dramatic lies & drama to SS

Caroline2b1211's picture

I was wrinting a few days before that SS wasn't happy there, and has no center of interest. 
And i may know what makes him behave like that, for a part. 
Yesterday he talked to me, and asked why and for how long he will be punished from phone here. 
I explained that it was not a punishment, but that he is not allowed to use his phone here because MIL use it to make drama, and because we want to live in peace and enjoy his stay here. 
 

SS visitation : 3 days and already depressed !

Caroline2b1211's picture

Hi all, 

It's been a while since i didn't post on my ST Blog, but tonight, i need to vent. 

It's been 3 days since SS is here, and i'm already depressed. 

He is absolutely not interesting AT ALL. Have no center of interest except FORTNIGHT, and no conversation. It's pretty obvious he doesn't want to be here, but don't tell us (you know, always want to be the "good guy"), so he is counting the days.

My feelings make me guilty : he is not doing anything wrong except have nothing to share with us AND wait for the time to go faster till end of the week. 

I don’t appreciate how SS is growing

Caroline2b1211's picture

SS spent his winter holidays with us. It was a relief to see that big drama seem to be behind him (For now). 

It wasnt exhausting to have him home this time, however, i have to admit i don't appreciate the person SS is becoming. 

 

First, he is the best, even if he is terrible at an activity or a game, he says he is the best. And when he says he is not, it's because he wants to hear "oh no, don't say that, you know you are the best". 

 

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