Wasn’t ST a safe place for step parent ?
I must write in my blog that one.
First, please excuse my bad english. I'm absolutely not fluent, it's not my native language. So if you see sarcasms in my post, or in my answers, it's barely impossible (LOL).
Second, the objective of our blogs are to vent right ?
Because i made one post earlier, and i had the impression to be drastically judged without knowing my history.
First i had a "Your SS is more loyal to MIL because she raised him". Wow, what a declaration !
Are you talking about the MIL i know ? Because that's not her. My MIL never raised SS. Until last year, my MIL was the one who says "you made a child ? You assume him on your own".
Second, i had "your SS is spending miserable times with you, why are you taking him his phone". SS spend 9 years of wonderful times with his father, and severals years where i was there too. Everything destroyed in a few months by MIL, using competition spirit (BM must proud that my son is rejected because his son is naturally much better than mine), massive manipulative and brainwashing techniques on SS, everything under our eyes without any control. Because BM was too flatted his son was the one choosen by MIL.
It took a year and therapy to understand what happened in our familly, why the birth of our child created such a mess in MIL mind, why she compulsively tries to destroy DH, and of course why i'm the lady to kill.
Now she is the one who says to his son : "you work for making economy, i work because i need to EAT !!!!"
DH tried his best to make BM understand what was really going on. But we are in front of an egoist BM who prefers is own comfort to his son well being. It's soo easier to be the cool mom : "ok son, you doesn't want to go to your father, lets go to MIL". Trust me, when she didn't have the choice, ie. when MIL wasn't available at all and when they was enemy, she never let SS decided to stay with her when she wanted freechild time ! And believe me, it was often !
I have invest many years to create a solid bond with SS, and it makes me suffer to see everything destroyed by a psychotic women. I can't imagine what DH has been through. My parents too were super invested in SS well being, school (they are teachers) and activity.
But in one post, i have been put in the position of the non invested SM, with a non invested father, hyper rigid who arbitrary punished his son from his phone.
I'm not perfect, DH too, we make mistake, we learn from them, but god, we try our super best. And everything occured when we had a newborn at home, with no real-time support as we live far from my family. God how hard this year has been. How hard was it for us to manage our baby, SS insecurity and MIL toxicity.
And now, we should put all our efforts to garbage, our own safety, because SS is bored without his phone ?
I'm sorry for all the members here who are super great, and super supportive. But in one post, all the support i had the impression to have here, as a "safe place", has gone.
Thanks for reading.
PS : maybe i'm super tired, and didn't undestand well the answers i get. Or maybe i'm over-reacting, or maybe i didn't expressed myself really well but... I had the impression to read : hey caroline, SS entertainment goes before DH, BS and YOUR mental health and family safety.