Ok so I'm new and old at being a step-mom. I have been a sm for almost seven yrs. My situation is that my husband had been a single dad for almost ten yrs when we got married. They were both set in their ways about how things worked. The ex was no longer in the picture and hadn't been for several yrs. She gave up trying to be a parent and spouse six months into it; then over the next couple of yrs, she spent a couple of days with the ss. But mostly she just wanted to get back with my husband, she wasn't interested in being a mom to her son.