So I'm sure no surpise to any of you. Now that the skids are back we're detoxing. It's not as steady as usual though. Normally it's constant awful behavior from SD6 and constant bossiness from SD10 until we knock them both back. Not this time!
To start, she returned them 45 minutes early, didn't even say bye to them, and vanished. (luckily I was at my in-laws studying fairly early... Otherwise NO ONE would have been at the house...)
Quick recap. Psycho got the kids for a month this summer. It ends tomorrow night, but we got them for two weekends during it, including last weekend. For simplicity's sake, I held off on blogging about them until AFTER both of them had happened. Means one blog for you all instead of two
So my parents have informed me a million times over the girls are mine. i have informed them I can withdraw at any point and I expect to be treated nicely to continue being an overacheiver....
So my family wanted to fly my home for the fourth of July. I told them I couldn't take the days off work. They threw a fit but accepted it.
This weekend is our first time seeing the skids in WEEKS due to summer visitiation. I seem to be blocked on SD10's cell phone (potentially... Messages won't send and throw an error, so I'm going to check the phone when she gets home) so we haven't heard from them.
Sooooo... Dh has been informed that he's working a 24 on the fourth of july. Which sucks, but alright. As such, this leaves me totally alone. I've been trying to brainstorm things to do.
My initial thought was I'd go run a 5k that morning and eat up a bit of time. Naturally I searched for races, they're all pretty distant. So that got scratched (mostly because 6-7 AM start times... And a 3 hour drive means I have to leave before my brain is awake enough to drive that far).
DH thinks I should hang with his family... I'm not really feeling it... Like at all...
So I ran into a guy at the gym, who used to be roommates for the ex had some kind of falling out with him and his wife (her bestie). Quick story short. She lived with them, got kicked out because she stopped paying rent, guy and ex's friend got divorced, she moved to Canada, he apparently moved close to where I am now. So this guy has a tendency to overshare. I had my earbuds in and was doing step-ups onto a bench with like 150 lbs on my shoulderrs. I figured, he'd leave me be. Nope! I was wrong! Instead he comes up and starts talking away.
Psycho's summer visitation starts on Sunday. Will the kids be happy? Nope. Will they be 100% cared for? Probably not unless her sister and GBM do it. Will SD10 and SD6 even have a reasonable amount of clothing for a month? Also no. Has Psycho spent more than 3 days total with the kids in the last 3 months? Nope! But I have decided to come to peace with all this. I can't stop it, I can't control it, I sure as he!! am not sending money or clothing. ESPECIALLY since Psycho is over $3,700 behind on CS.
So I struggle with anxiety the past like 6-7 months. I had it before then, but it’s been getting worse over this period. And it’s alright, I’m sure you’ll all be all “well go get pills.” But most days I still function totally fine. So I don’t think I’m at a medication point. I just have the occasional day, where it’s awful and it really affects my productivity and happiness. But I can still adult.
So I was texting a freind of mine from college. She was having a rough time, so I was being there for her. Nothing unusual.
SD6 walks over to me "Who are you texting?"
Me: "(insert name of friend, she's peruvian, so it's different)"
SD6: "Is that your boyfriend?"
Me: "uhhhh... No. Daddy is my boyfriend, she's a friend from college."
SD6: "No, he's your husband, who's your boyfriend?"
Me: "He's my husband and boyfriend kiddo. It's like a package deal. You get married and they basically become your forever boyfriend AND husband at the same time."
Summer is already proving to be a frustrating time. Last week was nice. I got to have lunch with my coworkers, go to the gym right after work, etc. It was relaxing and really felt like I had a life outside of stephe!!.
So this week hits. Dh works until 8, so I drop SD10 off at science camp, and bring SD6 with me to work. She falls asleep, so that's no biggie, mornings with her at work are easy because she's EXHAUSTED all morning and if you give her a pillow and blanket she'll pass out in five minutes flat.