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Yayy (NOT) it's almost June

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I hate June. Why becuase every year Fathers Day falls on the "off weekend" of SD being here so now she will be here 3 weekends in a row! No she wont be here that whole wekeend but tis just the point that she will be here at least that Sunday. I just can't believe with her being 3 months shy of 19 this whole EOW visitation is still happening!

So I got to hear DH and BM talk about SD just now

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DH is home today becasue its raining and his job requires him working outside so I had the rare opportunity to hear him on the phone with BM. (I can't remember the last time this happened. It was years ago). So at first he was talking nice and calm and it was all about  the damage to SD's car. Well BM brought up about her sleeping here tonight because I hear DH say "Of course I dont mind. I'm her daddy." Which I think he knew sounded so gross so immedialty he says "I'm her parent so of course I dont mind if shes here. Everyone else seems to have a problem with her being around.

Tonight ruined because of BM AND SD!

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I really do feel like my life is one step toward two steps back!!! As soon as DH and I "get back on track" and start to have nice days something always has to happen to fuck it up!!! 

Last night was the first night in 2 weeks that DH and I were both in good moods and being our old selfs. So what happens? SD18 (almost 19) calls to say someone in the townhouse complex she and her mom live at hit her car with his moped. So now she's scared to sleep there alone and BM has plans tonight ( to go have fun with her boyfriend) so now SD is coming here to sleep!!!! 

Trying to speak up for myself after years of keeping quiet...

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So as some of you may remember I like to write letters to DH. We can never sit down and talk in a healthy way it seems. And my thoughts come out much more eloquently on paper And when I write letters he actually takes in what I am saying and then talks to me calmly afterwards. I wanted to share part of the letter I just wrote him. I brought up 4 things because I am laying all my cards on the table but this is the one about SD.

Here we go again with SD's "visitation" schedule

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(Sorry kind of long)

So if you read my blog last week DH had calling hours to go to  last Wed night. SD18 and 1/2 has been comig over EVERY SINGLE WEDNESDAY SINCE I MET HIM 8 YEARS AGO COME HELL OR HIGH WATER) so I was shocked he went and SD didnt come over. But of course he asked her to come over Thursday night instead, but waited til Thursday to tell me and acted like she invited hereself over. Serously like it would have killed them if she just missed one night this month (She is here 10 days/nights a month)

Add-on to my other post earlier today

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So do any of you have partners that "watch" you waiting to pounce? What I mean by this is DH knows I'm not happy with SD coming here tonight so he's on what I call "high-alert" waiting for me to say or do something that will make it known I'm annoyed with her being here and in turn will piss him off. 

Well I've played that game  too many times! I'm not saying a negative thing. Of course I'm also not saying anything more than hello to SD and will be saying as little as possible to DH. 

And yet he wonders why I have a problem with her being here. 

One step forward two steps backwards yet again in stephell

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So as some of you may know - SD18 (and 1/2) is still doing the visitation schedule which is every Wednesday night and EOW Friday night - Sunday night. Luckily she no longer sleeps over Sunday nights and EO Wednedsay night like she used to but I still have to see her 10 days a month come hell or high water. I am just so over it!!!!