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Am I overreacting?

Jcksjj's picture

So if you remember the blogs about the stupid creepy pics SIL took of SD, I had guessed that we will get copies of them for xmas. Apparently I was right and that is the plan. I asked DH what is reaction to that would be and he said he would just say thanks and throw them away.

I feel that its not okay for him to not stick up for the other kids in some way because of the message its sending to them if he just accepts their exclusion right in front of them. Basically, I think they will learn that it's okay to be treated poorly and become doormats like DH. Granted, I know the ours babies are too young right now to realize, but its not like the blatant favoritism is just going to stop and letting them get away with it now is just going to enable them to continue.




tog redux's picture

Sorry - remind me of the stupid creepy pictures? And she plans to wrap them up and give them as gifts? 

If so, DH should say, "Mom, why aren't my other children in these pictures?" or something of the sort.  But he won't, will he?

Jcksjj's picture

SIL went around DH to BM (because DHs custody schedule that we stick to closely for a reason wasnt convenient for her) so she could take "princess pictures" of SD to promote her photography business. The pictures ended up looking like pedophile bait basically with tons of makeup and very adult poses, lighting, vibe. Then MIL and SIL were upset that the pictures didnt get enough attention (I'm assuming because people didnt want to feel like creeps by commenting or liking). Also, DH had discussed with SIL about taking pics of all the kids several times and that never happened, but she could contact BM and go pick SD up from BMs house just to get pictures of her.

SIL usually gives whatever art she is into at the moment as gifts, so I figured that we would likely be receiving them. And she just kind of dropped a hint that we would be.

ExcellenceToolkit's picture

I agree with him. Say thanks and throw them away and never allow SIL to take pics of your children in that fashion. It's a good idea to tell DH how you feel about it.

ESMOD's picture

I really don't see this as a "sticking up for" situation.. no huge line in the sand.

I mean.. you yourself say these pics were pretty weird.. why would you want similar pics of your kids?

It sounds like the sister picked SD because she fit the demographic age for a model for this particular style of photo shoot. 

Now.. your DH can tell his sister he would prefer to NOT have copies because he thinks they are gross.. or he can just do what most people would do to keep the peace when presented with a present they don't like.. accept.. thank.. toss in the back of closet/give away/throw out.

SIL didn't do this shoot because she wanted DH to have pics of his daughter.. she did it as a advert for her business.

Jcksjj's picture

I actually dont want pictures from her at all and I would choose DHs way of handling it for that reason. I have a friend whose style of photography I really like and I would much rather have her do photographs for us. Her taking pics of SD alone actually is the perfect excuse for me to have the other kids pictures taken by my friend. 

You are correct about the reasoning for the pictures. I get that. I dont get why they would need to be DHs xmas gift then. I also dont get why she blew off the taking pictures of the other kids repeatedly, because that is also part of her business. Probably relevant though: when I was pregnant with MDS she said she wanted an army of nieces and not a nephew. She also said she cried when she found out her second was another girl though, so idk why she has a problem with a nephew if she wanted a boy herself.

But I was thinking of it from my kids perspective, which putting myself in their place I think I would have been hurt by seeing my parents open a present from my aunt that is pictures of only the "favorite" (this is an overall theme is SD is treated differently by MIL and sil). Like I said in the post, they are too young to realize now, but they wont be forever. So i guess I felt like something should be said on their behalf. 


Exjuliemccoy's picture

Hurry up, get some nice family photos done that include SD. Use one for your Christmas cards, and be sure to send one to SIL. Maybe give her a nice framed one as a Christmas gift, too. It's art, right?


Simpleton21's picture

LOL, I like Exjuliemccoy's idea....or have a photoshoot with just the boys and give that to your SIL and MIL for they can have pics of ALL of the grandkids/nephews....

Jcksjj's picture

Lol I like that idea even better. AND come to think of it, theres a picture of SD hanging in her kids bedroom (which I thought was weird even before the other kids were born, who has a large framed photo of one of their cousins alone on a wall with no other pictures in their bedroom? Why is it not like on the fridge or something?) So we better get them some individual pictures of the boys also to put on the wall also.

Simpleton21's picture

Yes, perfect, large framed individual pictures of each boy for MIL and SIL for Christmas.  LOL!  

Um, that is super freaking weird but I'm not surprised. My MIL acts like she doesn't have a pic of my ODS b/c I haven't given her one.  I didn't give her any of SD or YDS but she managed to find those on fb just fine and print them out....hmmmm....I guess I just figured out what to give my MIL for Christmas this year ;)