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Wellness check

GamingBuddy's picture

Will CPS atleast do a wellness check if the main complaint is lice? This has been a constant issue that BM ignores and we are doing everything we can but she is primary. 

It's so bad she shaved the youngest head and now we can see them crawling. She tells the oldest she doesn't have lice and it's just dandruff but won't get her the shampoo for that either. We have litteraly given her bottles of treatment when she's picked them up and I swear she just refuses to use them.

I just want the kids lives improved. I don't want them taken from her. I don't care if nothing changes time wise and I'm smart enough to not give my name but the kids in school so the teacher has to see this. This is out right neglect and it's infecting our home. I just did a massive clean 3 times this summer. Once at the start of May then the start of our summer time and a week in so everything was dead. They go back to BMs and the very next visit they are infested again. We've got tons of messages to her of "treating the kids again" and its not just itchy heads we see the bugs crawling.


SteppedOut's picture


This is altogether too common of a problem that I see on steptalk. 


There is zero chance this would be ok in my house. There is no way I could live with this frequently. ONCE would freak me the hell out. 

IDK if CPS will do anything...tbh they seem nearly worthless. That wouldn't stop me from calling. Her house has to be nasty. Perhaps CPS calling or visiting will make bm clean her damn house. 

GamingBuddy's picture

That's all I want. Just her to be on notice and fix the problem at her house because I can treat 100 times and if she doesn't it doesn't matter. It angers me she sits there and tries to get the kids on an IEP and doesn't do the bare minimum.

Survivingstephell's picture

Stop taking the skids until they are clean.  You have to make her suffer consequences for not parenting.  How do you think the skids feel? Always having bugs.  I also dealt with a BM that didn't clean well.  Just because I had the cosmetology license didn't mean I needed to be the one dealing with it.  3 times she stuck us and that was my limit.     You can call CPS on her, they might not do much but sticking her with the skids until she cleans up will cramp her style.  You could also threaten her with full custody, ( no child support for her) since she can't do basic parenting    .   
OP I feel your pain and frustration.  You really need to get firm about it.  This should not be an on going issue for you.  

GamingBuddy's picture

Not taking them is not an option. The oldest already complains about having to go back to mom's and if we didn't take them she'd just leave them home alone.

I fully agree they are upset which is why we treat and are alerting the school tomorrow since she is trying to say the school told her the class is infected. Funny they didn't send dad any messages about it?

I'm calling CPS with more than just the fact the youngest head is visibly invest but also the oldest reporting mom won't buy shampoo.... kinda steps it up. I know they won't do much but the school should refuse to accept them if they have active infestation meaning she'll have to treat and they will be aware and if CPS does show up maybe she'll wake up.

Winterglow's picture

IS there a lice treatment centre near where you live? If so, get a leaflet from them with their prices and send it to bm with the information that you are going to start using it and the cost of the treatment will be deducted from her CS (yes, I know that's not legal but does BM know that?). Hit her where it hurts... in the purse.

GamingBuddy's picture

My partners child support is tracked through the state. There is no withholding child support for him. 

ESMOD's picture

It sounds like something your DH could bring to the school's attention and see if they have any record of it.. perhaps with independent proof CPS would look into it better?  are the kids in decent shape otherwise?

GamingBuddy's picture

My partner is contacting the teacher today and I'm contacting CPS on my lunch.

There are other issues of neglect but hard to prove and I don't expect CPS to really act but I do believe a visit would alert BM to this being serious. And maybe they will find more idk. I'm honestly not doing this in an attempt of having CPS remove them but we've been fighting this off and on for litteral years 

ESMOD's picture

You could also take them to urgent care.. or their pediatrician every time you pick them up with lice.. and show reciepts for the treatment you gave them during their stay with you.. maybe that would be proof as well.


justmakingthebest's picture

This is what I was going to suggest. Start documenting it offically.

When they come home to you, treatment in the driveway and then strip and wash all clothes, don't allow anything from BM's house over to keep your house safe. 

Maybe after 3-4-5 dr. visits you can send that will a complaint to CPS for them to do something about the lice. I mean, its bugs and infestation. There HAS to be something. I just did a quick google search and found this:

What will happen if lice goes untreated?

Once the bacteria are in the blood, it can cause cellulitis and very gruesome bacterial infection. When left untreated, the infection can spread to the lymph nodes and become a life-threatening issue. Once a case of head lice has progressed to this level, it takes a course of strong antibiotics to kill the infection

Annddd... now my head itches *ROFL*